How is it when Grandma rises from the dead, it’s like, “ZOMBIE!! KILL IT!! KILL IT!!” But when Jesus rises from the dead, it’s like, “oooooooo. Where to now, dude?” Is nobody scared of undead Jesus? I thought I already covered zombie Jesus in The Revenant. I suppose if somebody told you he was the son of God and you saw him die and two days later you saw him alive, well, that would be proof, wouldn’t it? Or would it?
The best part of Risen, a Warren Commission-like take on the death of Jesus, is the locked-door mystery. The Romans crucified Jesus, put his dead body in a cave, rolled a huge boulder in front of it, sealed the entrance with rope and wax and then posted sentries to guard (a little overkill, huh guys?), but like Doug Henning, Jesus escaped anyway. Woohoo! Encore!
And then he saw his shadow and we had six more chapters of Romans.
Roman Tribute Clavius (Joseph Fiennes, Voldemort‘s brother) is duty bound to investigate the missing corpse of Jesus. Act I is the introduction of Clavius as standard Roman officer. The fight scenes between Roman soldiers and upstart peasants are well done, perhaps the best since Gladiator. Clavius acts with Pilate’s will and none other, but at the end of the day, Clavius wants peace – which essentially is how he will eventually align with Jesus over Rome. Everything is told in flashback, so I’m not spoiling it.
Clavius, not Jesus (Cliff Curtis. Seriously? “Cliff Curtis” is Jesus. Sorry, “Yeshua.” Is this how we get away with a darker, brown-eyed Jesus, i.e. a truer-to-history version? We call him “Yeshua?”) Anyhoo – this film is about Clavius, and it is, more-or-less, the dramatic version of George Clooney’s movie-in-a-movie characterization in Hail, Caesar! While rounding up the usual suspects in East Casablanca, Clavius discovers his life has been a lie – or something to that effect. Truth is, the mystery in this picture is where it works. The ham-fisted discovery and message is where it does not.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Before I forget — Clavius’ toady is none other than Draco Malfoy; just another case of pitting yourself against the chosen one, huh? Wait until I tell God the Father about this.
Wait. Don’t forget to blame the Jews. Like flies to a rotting carcass, the Jewish council here attaches itself to Pilate to the point where you wonder if Pontius has an entourage. And, of course, it wouldn’t be a Dead Jesus film without making damn sure that the blame gets spread. Look, I don’t know how many times we have to go over this, but the Jews-killed-Jesus myth is among the most annoying in history. We are talking about a race of people (the Romans) who made local brown peoples stand aside whenever 
they tromped through a place. Are you seriously going to tell me that these folks who thought so little of the cultures they exploited and enslaved actually ceded power when it comes to literal life-and-death decisions? Tell me, whom else did the Jews crucify? Couldn’t have been limited to just Jesus, right? If Pilate (Peter Firth) is constantly calling counsel whenever there’s unrest, there has to be more than one death the Jews are responsible for, no? Let’s have some names. Is there a bible chapter of Names following Numbers?
Thanks to the distinct lack of preaching and the nature of the modern detective formula, Risen is the best “Rah! Rah! Go Jesus!” pic this century. Of course, that’s like winning a spelling bee for dyslexics, proclaiming the world’s fastest toddler, or being NYC’s most pleasant smelling sewer. I get the feeling this picture might be a bit of a letdown for Jesus fans. He really isn’t much more than a minor player here – ten, fifteen minutes of screentime tops. Of course, that still kicks ass over The Passion of the Christ in which Jesus never leaves the screen and still has next-to-nothing to say. If you want a sermon, this probably isn’t the best venue. If you want a mystery, this, also, is probably not the best venue, but Risen is a better biblical interpretation than any of the three majors in 2014: Son of God, Noah and Exodus, Gods and Kings.
We crucified and sheltered
Sent disciples helter-skeltered
Locked the body in a cave
Protected by a knave
Yet he escaped, this Houdini
Bested death and precautions many
Where is Christ? I’ve no idea
It’s up next on C.S.I. Judea
Rated PG-13, 107 Minutes
D: Kevin Reynolds
W: Kevin Reynolds and Paul Aiello
Genre: Jesus Christ!
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Goddy God GodGod Godfolks, saviors
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Non-Christians, zombies
