I don’t know what it is about the word “fairy,” but every time that word enters my brain, my eyes glaze over and I start to … zzzzzzzzzzzz. Huh? Wha? Where was I? Cinderella, you had me up until the mention of a certain magic godmother. The word itself triggers some sort of internal shutdown mechanism, “ok, boys, this is a story for five-year-old-girls; go ahead and pack it in. Sleep in three … two …one.” Oh, yes. I’m gonna have a chore keeping awake through this review. Let’s just not say the “F” word, ok?
Strange Magic is what you get when you market more than you write. This film is carefully engineered to appeal to a certain cartoon-loving crowd, one that appreciates singing sprites falling in love and singing sprites falling out of love and singing sprites singing just because. In fact, every.single.time a
character has a strong or new feeling in this film, he/she/it has to express it in pop song form. Wait. That’s not 100% true; Roland (the Gaston in this Beauty and the Beast tale, voiced by Sam Palladio) often expresses his feelings in country music form.
Princess Marianne (Evan Rachel Wood) sings about being in love with Roland right up to the moment she catches him kissing somebody else. Turning cynical on a dime, she finds herself unknowingly sympatico with the Bog King (Alan Cumming) who rules the dark side of the garden or whatever. This is one of those tales where everybody is two inches tall and probably hangs out in your backyard. Bog tsar here has used his immense power and resources to annihilate all the primroses so nobody can make a new love potion. Yes, that’s a pretty specific axe to grind.
It took a good hour to warm to anything in this film. The cover songs are strictly EZ listening stuff and I can’t say that this Belle, Gaston or Beast has anything on the original. (FWIW, the source material here is not Beauty and the Beast but Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream – yeah, it’s Beauty and the Beast, ok?) You know those hideous troll dolls? The ones that are pudgy and naked with neon highlighter colored hair that sticks straight up? Strange Magic has one of those (Elijah Kelley) and decided the problem with them was they just didn’t look Latino enough. Yeah, that was the issue.
So, believe or not, Strange Magic eventually 
does get entertaining, mildly, after a love potion finds Marianne’s sister, Princess Dawn (Meredith Anne Bull). This action inspires Marianne to seek out the Bog King and as these two are the only folks in the screenplay capable of nuance, albeit clumsy nuance, getting them together takes far too long.
Is it worth wading through an endless stream of something darn near elevator music to get to two characters who work well together? No. But admittedly, this film wasn’t meant for me. It almost certainly was marketed directly to five-year-old girls who believe in fair— zzzzzzzzzz
♪They’re singing all thoughts through the day
In a most hypnotic way
I yawn so wide
I’m watching Strange Magic
Oh no it’s Strange Magic
Neither joy nor tragic
I’m hatin’ Strange Magic
Ignoring Strange Magic♫
Rated PG, 99 Minutes
D: Gary Rydstrom
W: David Berenbaum, Irene Mecchi & Gary Rydstrom
Genre: Sleep through the music
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Oppressed fairies
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Cover haters
♪ Parody inspired by “Strange Magic”
