Traipsing around the jungles of India, there’s a kid in a loin cloth who is surprisingly clean and unscathed for a kid who traipses around jungles in a loin cloth all day. Mowgli (introducing the spectacularly untalented Neel Sethi!) is, in fact, remarkably accessible for a boy literally being raised by wolves. Perhaps we’ve been giving lupine parenting a bad name. And, perhaps, this is that squeaky-clean Star Wars prequel CGI where it looks too much like a matte painting to be taken seriously.
Mowgli is a “man-cub.” Man-cubs are notoriously poor at fitting in. It’s the “two legs” thing … and the fantasy football. Nobody wants to be at the water hole when Mowgli starts discussing yards-after-catch. The jungle has an impressive predator-to-prey ratio and Mowgli plays Call of the Wild on a daily basis with his pack and their guide puma, Bagheera (voice of Ben Kingsley). Skip to the draught and every forest creature is drawn to the remaining water source: a pool surrounding Peace Rock. Yeah, it’s nothing like “Pride Rock.” Not a thing like it at all. Enter one-eyed tiger Shere Khan (Idris Elba). Turns out Mowgli’s dad is the reason Khan has one eye and Khan is the reason Mowgli has no parents. Is this where Mowgli turns into Batman?
Shere Khan still holds a grudge, doncha know? Long story short, Mowgli has to flee and have some solo adventures that are an odd combination of scary and tacky. Nowhere is this combination more uncomfortable than his meeting with King Louie (Christopher Walken), an orangutan the size of a small planet. Director Jon Favreau deliberately hides 
Louie in the shadows of an abandoned temple to exaggerate his enormity when finally on display. If your five-year-old kid were not already scared by the vengeful one-eyed tiger and the forty-foot anaconda, the giant orangutan in shadows will take care of that issue. Until, of course, Louie starts singing.
Why? Why is there singing in this movie? Yeah, I know there was song in the original. It was also animated, never attempting to look real. This version of The Jungle Book included clipped piano bar versions of the original’s most notable hits, “I Wanna Be Like You” and “Bare Necessities.” Sure, it’s Baloo the bear whose mouth opens, but I challenge anyone my age not to picture Bill Murray’s lounge lizard when the words emerge. Is Baloo going to sing “♪Star Wars … Nothing but Star Wars … Those nutty Star Wars …♫” next? And not to be outdone, Christopher Walken polishes off his scare with a performance that manages to be both Sinatra-esque and SNL-esque at the same time. Is there anything cheesier in this world than a huge CGI mammal doing a late night comedy shtick? Don’t answer that.
I’m finding it very important here to divorce myself from what I bring to the table. This is the key to enjoyment. For all the CGI, The Jungle Book is a good old-fashioned adventure story: one kid and maybe some friends against a great foe; it will certainly appeal the intrepid boy you know. I don’t think this is a wonderful film for small children. But the child who can stare Darth Vader in the face and not flinch and has no idea who Bill Murray is? I think that child will enjoy The Jungle Book a fair amount.
♪In the jungle, that Asian jungle
Nobody sleeps tonight
In the jungle, this crowded jungle
The tiger’s pissed tonight
A-CGI
A-CGI
A-CGI
A-CGI
A-CGI
A-CGI
A-CGI
A-CGI
Near the village, the human village,
The tiger is a-light
After Mowgli, he’ll eat the village,
Prob’ly out of spite♫
Rated PG, 105 Minutes
D: Jon Favreau
W: Justin Marks
Genre: Live animation
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Nine-year-old boys, Disney historians
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: People who look at an animated bear and see Bill Murray
♪ Parody inspired by “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”
