So The Winter Soldier is a Manchurian Candidate Winter Soldier, huh? Tragic, really. I mean, just consider Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) for a sec — you acquire super powers in the 1940s and wake from a frozen coma after crashing a plane in the arctic during WWII only to find that it’s 70 years in the future and your childhood friend presumed lost in a German raid has also survived while failing to age and has acquired the same superpowers you have except that -triggered by hypnotic suggestion- he’s spent the past few decades as an unwitting tool for evil. Man, I hate when that happens!
First, however, we start in Lagos, Nigeria (show of hands everybody who saw “LAGOS” and knew we were in Nigeria … yeah, um, not me). Answering the ancient joke “how many Avengers does it take to foil a bio-terrorist threat?” The answer is five, I think. That wasn’t my only question; and it was quickly followed by, “how do Avengers get bio-terrorist intel, anyway?” I mean, they’re kind of the exact folks you don’t want to know your terrorist agenda; they’re also likelier to get false alarms than any other group in the world, no? I mean, part of me would want to yell, “terrorism!” just to see if Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) shows up. Anyhoo, Witchy Woman (Elizabeth Olsen) –what are her powers, anyway? I’ve now seen two films with this fabricate-whatever-ability-she-needs 
mystic and I’m starting to think her only consistent super ability is not being one of her sisters. In this case, the script needed her to save Cap’n Crunches here with a force field fireball and then toss it at an office building, killing eleven non-Americans.
The collateral damage inspires the major debate of the film – who polices the police? On the side of “oh, no, Bluto; we could get in trouble” is, surprisingly, Iron Man, who in seventeen or so films has shown no special love for being corralled. Opposing him with the philosophy of “we don’t need no stinking badges” is Captain America, a guy who would gladly have sacrificed himself for a higher cause in his relative youth. Anybody else confused? Forget it; they’re rolling – and this debate comprises nearly the only interesting part of the first hour of Captain America: Civil War.
Having Robert Downey and Chris Evans square off in both civil and uncivil fashion is the apex of this film; the rest is just choosing up sides like kids on a playground. CA:CW spent a great deal of time with two guys who are decidedly NOT Avengers and decidedly NOT
worth following: some sort of catman (Chadwick Boseman) with adorable little retractable claws. Awwww, isn’t that cute? He’s avenging! The other focal point was Winter Soldier (Sebastian Stan), a.k.a. “Bucky,” the least threatening super alias of all time. Civil War went overboard trying to help these guys out. Cat guy is a vigilante, but we feel for him because of a revenge factor, while Bucky is simply a tool manipulated by big bad Russkies. Sure, I felt sorry for him because he clearly hasn’t had a decent haircut in 25 years, but … c’mon. I did quite enjoy the scene where Captain No Casualties trails an escaping Bucky, carefully assuring that the trail of destruction the latter leaves behind is not lethal.
Uncostumed Daniel Brühl and Martin Freeman showed up in this one … to give Northern Europe some compensation for a lack of Thor, I guess. Hard to tell.
Earlier this year, we were “treated” to the big battle between Batman and Superman. That action merited 1.5/10 at best. Captain America: Civil War compensated with a truly entertaining battle royale (8/10). The film seemed well aware of how these guys would attack one another and had a some fun doing it. I felt like brother/directors Anthony Russo and Joe Russo were summoning Joss Whedon in Act III of this film, especially when showcasing dialogue 
for Spider-kid (Tom Holland), “hey, guys, remember that old time film The Empire Strikes Back?” Ah, yes, the original Star Wars trilogy is now a relic of a lost age, is it? It sure didn’t feel like that at the time.
The philosophical debate here is one that should be explored more often, especially as supermight on screen is so often a thinly veiled metaphor for the U.S. military. Hence, hey, I’m American; we know we’re good; shouldn’t that mean we’re above world scrutiny? Yeah, ask the world what they think about that … start in the Middle East, where our “good” created ISIS. But I digress. Apologies. Captain America: Civil War was uneven, but if you give enough screen time to Robert Downey, odds are you can create a thumbs up.
♪It must have been cold there on my trail
They don’t call me “Winter Soldier” for naught
It’s not my fault for all the bad stuff
You goody goody two shoes little snot
So I was the one who stole the focus
While you stayed and cleaned up all my mess
You know I could probably use a haircut
And maybe a suit, but I digress
Did you ever know that you’re my hero
At least you are one of two or three
I *could* fly higher than an eagle
But I prefer a vengeance spree♫
Rated PG-13, 147 Minutes
D: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo
W: Christopher Markus & Stephen McFeely
Genre: Superbrother against superbrother
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Superfools
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: That whole Jane Austen crowd
♪ Parody inspired by “Wind Beneath My Wings”
