Just because you can beat the human waste scene in Slumdog Millionaire doesn’t mean you ought to beat the human waste scene in Slumdog Millionaire. Know what I’m sayin’? I sure didn’t expect the film (or any film for that fecal matter) to go there … especially after a start resembling The Thomas Crown Affair. Can you imagine Pierce Brosnan in a Jurassic sized pile of shit?
I’m puzzled by the insecurity from our subject, Roger (Askel Hennie). As Americans, all we’re ever told is what a paradise the world is north of Germany and west of Russia. Aren’t you overjoyed just to live in Norway/Sweden/Finland (Headhunters is a joint production of Norway and Sweden)? No? This tale must be fictional. Fish-faced Roger tells us he’s 5’6” (translated from metric, clearly) and, yet, he is married to the tall, blonde and beautiful Diana (Synnøve Macody Lund). Diana is –how shall I put this?—the kind of model-like beauty you’d find in an Old Milwaukee ad from the 1990s before the ad-makers got the hint that ironic sexism was still sexism. Roger confides that he’s not enough man to keep her satisfied.
Roger is a headhunter, nothing more – just a guy who finds talent for other guys. How does he keep his zillion kroner home and his hot wife 
in constantly new and pretty things? Roger steals art. He has rules; it’s all very professional. In/out in under ten minutes (metric time); be smart, don’t waste anything. One big secret I learned was not to go whole hog on the reproduction. A half-assed Monet will still go unnoticed by its rightful owner for weeks. Ah, that’s devious and low, but genius, no? How often do you actually look at the art you own?
So you get this, right? This is just a white collar guy who steals art and runs into the very polished and soon-to-be-rival Clas (Nicolaj Coster-Waldau, who now has failed to make a name for himself in several American films). What is the nature of Clas? Is he just another talent to push on clients? What’s with the 30M Kroner painting he owns? Is Clas boffing Diana? And most-of-all, how do we get from business suits, expensive manicures and zillionaire trappings to Slumdoggery? I mean, seriously, I haven’t seen a Norwegian video go this awry since “Take On Me.” All I can hint is prepare for a film to get ugly; but the plot is worth the foul.
Is Roger one to admire?
A life like he sets dough on fire
How much riches
Keeps Di in stitches
He’ll never know if he don’t inquire
Rated R, 100 Minutes
D: Morten Tyldum
W: Ulf Ryberg, Lars Gudmestad
Genre: Exploring the entire range of criminal behavior
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Norwegian Day Traders
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: People who don’t appreciate a moody film
