Here’s a movie I enjoyed and can honestly recommend to no one. Not a single person. Nary a soul. Not sure I’d even recommend it to movie junkies like myself. Did Dan Kwan and Daniel Scheinert set out to make a movie nobody would want to see? It’s possible, though unlikely. Hear me out.
Hank (Paul Dano) is committing suicide. After a personal three-hour tour, he seems to be stranded alone on a small island in the Pacific. If only he had a volleyball … Is it lack of resources, companionship or general depression that leads him to this point? Hard to say, but his botched attempt is punctuated by the sighting of corpse Manny (Daniel Radcliffe) washing ashore. Unable to revive Manny, Hank makes an important discovery – Manny farts. A lot. Continuously. Now, you would think that wouldn’t make for a strong plot point. You’d be wrong. Hank uses this natural wind power to “sail” Manny to the mainland. So now, he’s still lost, but no longer alone and closer to civilization.
You also might conclude that this initial extensive exploration of gastric release would exhaust –so to speak- all the thoughts the writer/directors had on the subject. You’d be wrong there, too. Manny’s flatulence is a consistent recurring theme in Swiss Army Man, right up to the very end of the film … even after –I swear I’m not kidding—Hank jams a cork up Manny’s anus.
Good gravy, this is the worst review I’ve ever written.
Oh, and it didn’t stop there. When Hank discovers the corpse speaks (yes, you read that right), the two have conversations about a series of below-the-waist topics. They discuss insertion and masturbation, sometimes at length. A fortuitously abandoned magazine swimsuit edition serves as –again, I swear I’m not kidding—the medium by which Hank can use Manny’s alert penis as a compass. [For those interested, there is exposure of Radcliffe’s ass, but nothing more than that]
There just aren’t a whole lot of quality films in which a fellow pals around with a corpse. Pretty sure that’s not a bad thing.
I told you already: I cannot recommend this film to anybody. “Now what,” I hear you ask,” could anybody like about a film in which a crazy dude and a dead guy discuss masturbation?” The simple answer is that when Swiss Army Man wasn’t actively trying to alienate an 
audience, it was genuinely fascinating – see, Hank discovers that while Manny ain’t so active, he has a plethora of uses: Manny dispenses fresh drinking water for one. He can be used to chop firewood and hunt small game. Manny is indeed a Swiss Army Man.
And how do Manny’s talents relate to Hank’s madness? All skills shown are presented as “matter-of-fact.” Hank doesn’t go into a dream world when he talks to Manny or collects water from his spigoted companion. We have to assume this is how Hank is making sense of what little sanity is available to him. Is Hank really stranded? Or even lost? The more clues we get, the more it seems Hank has invented his own peril. Or has he? The corpse of Manny is certainly real. Is the bear they encounter real? How about the girl Hank is obsessed with? I cared more about the answers to these questions than I was put off by the smoke gas-screen of fart. I cannot, however, assume than anybody else would feel the same way I do; in fact, in retrospect, I wouldn’t have even recommended this film to me.
♪I’m all messed up, don’t know where to go
Walkin’ with a dead man throughout the forest
I’m all messed up, with a corpse in tow
Not quite sane and I’m kinda depressed
I botched up a self-Hank
At the mouth of this cave
That’s when dead guy arrived washin’ up this wave
It’s a dead man’s journey
Don’t know where to go
I may not be all there, buddy, doncha know?
I may not be all there, feel me, bro?♫
Rated R, 97 Minutes
D: Dan Kwan, Daniel Scheinert
W: Dan Kwan, Daniel Scheinert
Genre: Alienating your audience
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Nobody.
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: People easily disgusted
♪ Parody inspired by “Dead Man’s Party”
♪♫
