I am going to try and describe the heroines of Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie to people like me: imagine if Beavis and Butt-Head were old, English, female, addicted to makeup, and really into fashion instead of death metal. Yeah, that about covers it. And while it’s possible that two disaffected adolescents can be excused for their useless skill sets, idiot behavior, irrelevant sexuality, and completely self-involved shenangians, I find it much it much harder in the cases of Patsy (Joanna Lumley) and Edina (Jennifer Saunders, who wrote this masterpiece).
What do these fun-lovin’ coots do for fun? Far as I can tell, it’s hangin’ around fashion shows trying to prove they fit in. Imagine a sixty-year-old bat boy at a baseball game and you get a good idea of how well this 
works.
Part of my difficultly in sympathizing with Patsy and Edina is their expensive tastes. Non-stop alcohol, cigarette and fashion-addictions cost money, and neither woman seems able to attract a sugar daddy or hold down reasonable employment. Patsy was even fired during the movie and I had to ask, “from what?” But the action revolves around Edina, or “Eddy” as Patsy calls her. The unemployed PR Agent has her own PA, “Bubble” (Jane Horrocks), cuz when you’re doin’ nothin’, make sure you’ve got an assistant. The ladies treat her the same way Beavis & Butt-Head treat their lackey, Stuart.
Patsy gets wind that Kate Moss is in need of a new agent. She immediately phones Edina, who blows this piece of insider info by failure to mute her phone. And shortly thereafter, Edina’s
overzealousness dumps Kate herself into the Thames. When Kate fails to surface, the true plot begins where we learn how these women feel about responsibility and death, which is almost exactly how Beavis & Butt-Head feel about the same. If you’re gonna play callousness for laughs, try to, you know, get some laughs in.
Absoltuely Fabulous: The Movie joins Entourage and Veronica Mars as recent films that made a piss-poor transition from TV. The film is replete with characters only show connoisseurs will enjoy, including Patsy and Edina themselves. I will readily acknowledge the material occasionally merits a smile or slight chuckle, like when Patsy acts as Edina’s mirror because the latter can’t stand the real thing. This script, however, never reaches riot level at any point – and that’s even for aficionados. I strolled from the theater not gleeful with mirth or laughter, but feeling sorry for these old birds. They offer nothing to society and are huge burdens on everyone in their lives, none of whom they seem to feel even the most mild amount of affection. If that’s the joke, I’d rather Beavis & Butt-Head told it.
Two women for whom mediocrity is par
Discovering trouble while hitching a star
I’m not believing
This title deceiving
Want Absolut? Try a Swedish bar
Rated R, 90 Minutes
D: Mandie Fletcher
W: Jennifer Saunders
Genre: Big stick —> Dead horse
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Fans of the show or gay men if my crowd was any indication
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: The uninitiated
