Ever have that roomie who just won’t leave? Man, I had a guy like that one summer – had neither work nor income, so hung out in the apartment all day watching the the video rentals I brought home from my second job. Of course, he never killed anybody (far as I know, at least), nor did he ever keep me up at night, so, hey, maybe I owe this guy an apology.
Diana is dead (Long live Diana!), but her inability to stay dead or corporeal in light hasn’t stopped her from enjoying some her favorite hobbies, like defacing property and scaring all the people you love. Turns out Diana is a possessive friend – one of those who hates that you have other friends. Note to movie mom: Sophie (Maria Bello), Diana is a Debbie Six-Feet-Downer; she’s holding you back.
Lights Out begins in a warehouse, well past normal working hours. Most staff has gone home. Huh. Motion-activated lights are a nice touch … so are the random mannequins at every turn. Who keeps mannequins in a business office? You just know one of these things is gonna come to life and strangle somebody. We meet Diana when the lights get shut off in a break room. Suddenly there’s just a wild skeletal shadow woman scritchin’ at the floor. Dude, little respect here? I’m gonna have to refinish that. And here’s the thing – Diana only exists in small amounts of indirect light, but she’s deadly where she does exist … so if you can just manage to be at either (North or South) Pole and always outdoors during the appropriate season, Diane ain’t never gonna bug ya. 
How hard could that be, really?
And check this out, Diana is tied to people, not property, so little Martin (Gabriel Bateman), your insomnia ain’t gonna disappear just because you run off to your older sister (Teresa Palmer). And when she’s at home, check it out, mom knows her! She’s a freaking house guest?! MOM, WTF?!
Fear of the dark is a common phobia, and one that is often exploited on film. Personally, the denouement of The Silence of the Lambs is still my fav by far … but the selection here is pretty good. There are decidedly good scares and bad choices in Lights Out – your fear is soft indirect light and you’re gonna walk around with a candle?! Really. People in horror films…pfft. Am I right?
Not sure Diana compares to Samara as female Hell-beasts go. At the end of the day, you want to stop her? One click is all it takes. “Well, we were all going to die when I remembered I had my trusty laser pointer on me…” Samara may be old school, but I’m pretty sure you can’t keep her at bay with an iPhone.
♪She never comes out in light
She leads the league in ‘Spite’
Nothing is new
She’s been dead before
Scritching and Scratching
Ooh, she’s spying on you
While she’s messing up the floor
Oh-oh, there she is
Flip the switch, she goes away
Oh-oh, there she goes
She’s a freeloader
Oh-oh over there
Watching Netflix in the dark
Oh-oh, kills your dad
She’s a hatemonger♫
Rated PG-13, 81 Minutes
D: David F. Sandberg
W: Eric Heisserer
Genre: Creating insomnia
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Horror junkies
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Achluophobics
♪ Parody inspired by “Maneater”
