You can root for the scary-ass blind guy. For about forty-five minutes at least, that is, until the second half of the film redirects your emotional center. I’m saying this because many of you will want to root for the scary-ass blind guy. After all, it’s his house and the encroaching thieves are entitled to all the justice he deems worthy to deliver. He’s also a loner and an Iraq war veteran, no doubt blinded from the action he saw. And why is he a target? Because he won a huge settlement when his daughter was wrongly killed … another reason to root for the old man.
Young adults Rocky (Jane Levy), Alex (Dylan Minnette) and Money (Daniel Zovatto) are Detroit house thieves. Strictly b&e stuff, never taking much more than pocket change. Alex is the key here; although he’s the meek-link of the group, he also has alarm-box skillz (thanks to dad, a security guy) and knows the law inside-and-out: “You don’t steal more than $10k; that’s a felony …You don’t bring a gun to a robbery; that makes it a felony…You don’t feed them after midnight; that’s a different movie.”
Rocky and Alex want out of Detroit. Get in line, folks. So it’s time for one last big score – a lonely two-story house in an abandoned neighborhood. Oh, look, the owner is blind. Well, this will be easy, right? Christ, this crappy house in a crappy neighborhood is harder to break into than Fort Knox, and what is worth guarding here? And what’s with bars and padlocks on all the windows? And why didn’t any of you jaggoffs bring a flashlight? The guy is blind; he doesn’t even need the lights.
The interior of this house of horrors is exactly how I picture the domiciles of the sorely misguided “____________ IS COMING TO TAKE OUR GUNS!” crowd – living in a dark fortress, hard to get in, harder to get out, gun under the bed, random weapons hidden all over the house, extra padlocks on every door, huge guard dog, the valuables collected Smaug-style in a huge booby-trapped pile … the whole place announces: “you made a mistake coming here, pal, and it’s the last one you’ll ever make.”
You see, it turns out the Blind Man (Stephen Lang) is both home and awake. And the kids going to discover a very new meaning of “handicapable” over the course of the evening. The word “trapped” will come up often in the next few hours. As will their inability to see or comprehend given parts of the house itself.
While writer/director Fede Alvarez successfully captured the essence of good horror (geographical isolation, overwhelming-and-lethal but not unbeatable threat), I’m not convinced he did justice to the teens. I feel like the kids made themselves sitting ducks at all times, constantly being exactly where and how Blind Man expected them to be. There must be a zillion ways to screw
with a blind guy if you think about it, and these guys had several down periods to sort it out. Did you guys try, say, going vertical? How about rearranging the furniture? Blind people really don’t respond well to the unexpected. When you hold a gun on him, how about holding it lower? All he has is home court advantage; you take that away and he’s yours. Dudes, you’ve turned “Messing with Sasquatch” into “Sasquatch and His Bitches.”
I’m never keen on generational bating, and this film seems like one designed specifically to turn boomers against millennials. I cannot deny, however, that Don’t Breathe is a unique and genuinely thrilling horror film. The threat is credible and dangerous; the “heroes” have to invent their way out of a self-imposed jam and the creepy is legitimately cringe-worthy. It’s not a perfect horror film, but it is well above average.
Rub a fair dare
Three fools in a snare
And who do you think they be?
The loser, the taker,
The sunshine wish maker
Stuck for eternity
Rated R, 88 Minutes
D: Fede Alvarez
W: Fede Alvarez, Rodo Sayagues
Genre: Generation bating, horror version
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Thriller junkies
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: People hoping for a message movie
