No Eugene Levy? Really? What? Was he busy that day? No, no, that can’t be it. He’s never busy. That just doesn’t add up. Clearly, the object of Mascots was to cannibalize all the elements of Best in Show and trot them out in costume. It’s like all the dog/owner combinations are now both at once. Check out the cross-section of actors who found their way into both films: Christopher Guest, Bob Balaban, Jennifer Coolidge, John Michael Higgins, Don Lake, Jane Lynch, Ed Begley, Jr., Parker Posey, Fred Willard, Michael Hitchcock, Jim Piddock, Carrie Aizley, Steven M. Porter, Scott Williamson. As this stable is both obscure and mature, I can only guess (Guest?) that they’re all kept under a see-through glass box in a forgotten studio basement carefully marked “in case of mockumentary, break glass.” My second guess is that the Best in Show actors failing to appear here have almost certainly suffocated in that box at some point during the fifteen-year interval.
Mascots is, essentially, Best in Show. That’s not a bad thing. Most of us have forgotten the dog breeding competition lark. Not that this film is any different in style or format than Christopher Guest’s other mockumentaries like A Mighty Wind, Waiting for Guffman or For Your Consideration, but Best in Show is the closest and most obvious match – a varied group of the single
-hobby tunnel-vision obsessed gather to have a deliberately mediocre competition – Guest pokes fun at them (and himself as he revives guru Corky St. Clair) and then lets them have their day on stage. It’s not hard to enjoy; Guest has been doing this tongue-in-cheek snort-style guffawrama since This Is Spinal Tap.
Costumed entertainers worldwide have all assembled at one medium-sized high school to compete for ‘The Golden Fluffy.” If it goes well, they could even get on TV next year! To love these movies you have to love the characters, each introduced in interview fashion pushing a stone-faced agenda in a way that dares you to smirk. For the judges alone, there are former performers Gabby Monkhouse (Jane Lynch), who prides herself on a biography as a baseball game mascot entitled A-Moose-ing Grace and A.J. Blumquist (Ed Begley, Jr.) who, in turn, proudly speaks of introducing the world to “anatomically correct” mascotry. You can decide for yourself who wears his/her claim-to-fame better. Along the lines of the latter is a running gag where a furry keeps slipping in and out of the venue in an attempt to dryhump fully costumed participants. Note to self: mascots and furries are two different things.
Lessee, who was my favorite? Well, I didn’t have one. Much like Best in Show, I found myself mildly amused by most, but not rolling for any. I suppose I enjoyed Tom Bennett as the soccer-cheering hedgehog and Chris O’Dowd as the ice-skating fist a tad more than Parker Posey’s avant-guarde armadillo (“so what’s your act? You just lie on the ground and a truck runs over you?”) or Zach Woods and Sarah Baker as the mascot couple badly in need of a separation. What you really get out of this material comes from Christopher Moynihan’s prancing plumber. As he dances on stage with, literally, a nimble turd, we realize this is his spotlight. It’s not just that the spritely jig with a four-foot (girl) in a feces costume is the acme of this pathetic man’s life, it might also be the apex of this actor’s career – even if it isn’t Moynihan himself dancing in the oversized plumber disguise, this is probably the film I will remember him for … if ever I remember him at all.
Personally, I was surprised at how old the cast is given the subject matter. All of the performers, to
a person, were easily over 40, which is funny because I think of mascots as exclusively high school and college-aged kids. I’d forgotten that when you get to the bigs, it can be anybody under there – as I know to be true from personal experience – but that’s another story. I also wonder about the competition itself – is this a subtle dig at cheerleading competitions? See, those make no sense at all. Cheerleaders only exist to root for their affiliated sports team. If no sports team, how can there be cheerleaders? What are you cheering? But I digress. If that was the intention, I enjoyed it as well.
For now, I offer Christopher Guest a handful of potential subjects for the next Best in Show, based on my lame hobbies alone:
- Rug Makers
- Joggers
- Fantasy League commissioners
- Cheesecake enthusiasts
- Jigsaw puzzlers
- Blood donors
- Stuffed animal creators
- Cartoonists
And, of course,
- Movie critics and/or bloggers
Certainly, you can take any one of these and create a story about a mismatched flock of enthusiasts all pushing to win an award coveted only by the people vying for it on screen. Let’s hope it doesn’t take another fifteen years to unearth. When it does, I’ll be pissed if I’m not represented by Fred Willard.
Socially, the in-between
Might just prefer to be seen
Masquerading incognito
Could well be neato
Esp. if you can’t wait for Halloween
Rated R, 89 Minutes
D: Christopher Guest
W: Christopher Guest, Jim Piddock
Genre: Meet Christopher Guest’s stable of performers
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Fans of Best in Show
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: The Anti-furry crowd
If you enjoy mascot tales, please check out these personal memories:
