So let me ask this, because it was a huge part of Anthropoid, the criminally mistitled 1941 plot to assassinate Reinhard Heydrich, a.k.a. “the butcher of Prague” … what is the good in taking down a subordinate? I speak not only to this plot, for which the Czechs paid heavily, but all plots in which the target is easily replaced. I’m immediately reminded of the outing of CIA agent Valerie Plame during the Bush administration. The trail led up to Vice President’s office, but instead of Dick Cheney going down, his assistant Scooter Libby took the fall. I agree that justice needed to be served (outing an agent is treason), but if you had known the target was Scooter Libby, would this have been news?
By December of 1941, the Nazis had occupied Czechoslovakia long enough to be really bad neighbors. I suppose they weren’t entirely bad – you didn’t have to yell at them to turn music down and they didn’t keep you up all night, but instead of indecorum, the random executions proved something of a downer. At this time, the Czech resistance movement ordered the hit of Reinhard Heydrich, Adolf Hitler’s #3 man and the current head of Czech affairs. Free Czech loyalists Jan Kubiš (Jamie Dornan) and Jozef Gabčík (Cillian Murphy) parachuted in for the job. It took them exactly one local to discover somebody willing to sell them out for a price … which should indicate exactly how dangerous their mission was. This point is reinforced by the idea that, evil as Heydrich is, he is also essentially replaceable, which means that any attempt on his life would cost many more Czech lives in return.
So knowing the danger inherent and experiencing peril with every step, Jan and Jozef … both fall in love. I wish I were kidding here. Dudes, keep it in Czech; knowwhatI’msayin’ ? The worst part of Anthropoid is that the film actually did need to throw in both of these tepid, ill-conceived and potentially fatal irrelevances because the assassination plot barely resonates. I’ve seen a lot of war movies and many of them had strategy out the wazoo; that’s the fun of war movies. There’s an objective. There are soldiers to carry it out. Some succeed. Some fail. The objective is reached or it isn’t, but time slows down during the unfolding. We’re on the edge of our seats waiting for that trigger to be pulled, that bridge to collapse, that caged bird to sing or whatever. Anthropoid proved
incredibly shy on the tense. The strategy seemed sound. The plan was executed. There it is. The whole thing happened in real time and there was still an hour left in the film.
I feel bad here. Films never celebrate the Czechs. Closest we come are the sacrificial “see no evil” rabbits in Watership Down. I grew up thinking Czechs were kinda awkward, in bad need of vowels, decent hockey players, and occasionally were “wild and crazy guys.” Discovering they whole-heartedly participated in WWII is an important revelation; I really wish Anthropoid had been a better movie to celebrate Czech defiance.
Personally, I kept rooting for the Fifty Shades of Gray star Dornan to be captured and mistreated by the Nazis so that we could get a scene with him saying, “you call that tying knots? What is that, a half-hitch? C’mon, man. And torture? Seriously. ‘Torture?!’ I scoff at your attempt. Just … look … step aside, you’re driving me nuts; let me show you how to use the clamps properly. (Mumbles to himself) Freaking amateurs.”
At the end of the day, I learned little ( or not nearly enough) about either Czech freedom fighting or assassination strategies. However, I did learn: 1) Don’t fall in love on a suicide mission 2) They really should name these things more carefully … perhaps “Operation Deinhard.” Now there’s a mission Americans can get behind with a vengeance.
♪Jan, go away, I’ll be screwed with you
Oh, Jan, you have the shelf life of a Jew
Hang out (Hang out)
Hang out elsewhere
Think (Think) what a murder will mean
Think (Think) what clocks Nazis will clean
Now think what the future of this place will look like so mean
Jan, go away
Jan, go away♫
Rated R, 120 Minutes
D: Sean Ellis
W: Sean Ellis, Anthony Frewin
Genre: World War, boooooo
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Freedom fighters
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Their fiancées
♪ Parody inspired by “Dawn (Go Away)”
