How obvious is the connection between the U.S. military and the NFL? Even a foreign born director best known for Asian films can see it, and feels confident enough to make a movie on the subject. Football has long been described as war itself and many terms are common to both: blitz, bomb, trenches, lines, air attack, ground attack, etc. So why not a movie that combines the two? Sure, let’s honor Iraqi combat veterans after this quick commercial break in Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk.
Billy Lynn (Joe Alwyn) did not enlist for the most noble of reasons, but his Sergeant (Garrett Hedlund) and ill-fated guru, Shroom (Vin Diesel) see his potential as a soldier. Sure enough, Billy is eventually awarded the silver star for battlefield bravery. He and his Bravo company are on something of a victory tour, but we know this is more like their own half-time; the company is due to return to Iraq after having a series of stateside medal ceremonies. And Billy has a curiously close relationship with his sister Kathryn (Kristen Stewart), who doesn’t want him to return to the Middle East.
The film takes place entirely in the context of a 2004 Thanksgiving halftime show where Billy and his uniformed pals get to stand on stage while the dance crew from Destiny’s Child gyrate around them. In my mind, it’s less respectful than kneeling during the national anthem, but others may see it differently. The background is interspliced in flashbacks within this Thanksgiving day; we know Billy is a hero from the opening moments of the film.
There is nothing about the present day action in this film that sits well with me – the closest I get is a pre-game press conference in which we learn the soldiers themselves actually think they’re creating more harm than good, terrorism-wise and soldiers are equally as likely to bullshit as athletes. The closest we get to honest public truth is Billy’s admission: “ It’s hard being honored for the worst day of your life.”
Nearly unforgiveable sins plague the backstage parade: 1) In an effort to give personality to the soldiers, Ang Lee made them behave like stooges from time-to-time. You know, I might buy this among new recruits and I certainly understand the point you’re making that these are young men and prone to the frailties of young men everywhere – but these are also combat veterans, in uniform no less. I’ve been to West Point several times. Theirs isn’t an act for the cameras. Uniform goes on and these soldiers are professionals, serious and true. 2) In an effort to move plot, these men are given a fair amount of shit by the populace. One set of jokers even starts a fistfight with recent combat veterans. Do you have any idea how disrespectful that is, not to mention flat-out stupid? Would you jump a silver star awarded combat vet on leave?
I may be hopelessly naïve here, but neither of these facets struck me as true. But that’s par for the course in a film where nothing outside of Iraq is especially true. Billy Lynn’s Loooooooooong Halftime Walk didn’t buy the rights to the NFL, the Dallas Cowboys, Texas Stadium, Jerry Jones, Beyoncé, The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders and didn’t told me why Destiny’s Child is performing halftime of a lousy 2004 Thanksgiving game.
I know this is nitpicking, but these are the details that lend authenticity to
stories, even fictional ones. Steve Martin is clearly playing Jerry Jones; this is clearly a Dallas Cowboys game at Texas Stadium (right before the development of their new monstrosity) on Thanksgiving. Billy falls in love with a Cowboys Cheerleader. If those details are incorrect or fudged, you lose me. You see, Billy doesn’t actually fall for a Cowboys cheerleader. I don’t even know what team is supposed to be playing in white ‘n’ blue unis with silver “D” embossed helmets — The Dallas Korbens? The Dallas Comegys?
The relationship of halftime to NFL game is like a stoplight on a highway – it’s annoying, unnecessary, and only serves those wishing to go in another direction. When ESPN rolls out highlights, it’s not like they focus on the halftime show, dig? Now, at first I believed this was a subtle commentary on the nature of the military itself: honored, but easily forgotten, part of a show rather than a necessary implement. After seeing Billy Lynn’s Halftime Walk, however, I believe this whole movie superfluous. The poignant stuff is all in Iraq; the pageantry and lost detail may as well describe a group of guys who won free tickets from a radio station, not actual combat veterans and war heroes. The lesson I take from this movie is that troops stick together; there is no greater good or stronger allegiance worth celebrating. That’s not a bad message, but it’s not a wonderful message, either, and wholly misplaced in the context of an NFL sideshow.
Entering an Iraqi town
Caught the pass, hey, first down
Taking loss in fire fight
Pitch the ball, back sweep right
Got the enemy, lock and load
Blitz the QB, line explode
Bleeding out from the gut
Take the points, open and shut
Eternal war is all the same
Touchdown, baby! Win the game!
Rated R, 110 Minutes
D: Ang Lee
W: Jean-Christophe Castelli
Genre: Football, war, whatever
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Combat veterans
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Jerry Jones
