If you’re like me, you blew your opportunity to see Hamilton, the musical. And by “blew,” I mean “refused to pay $250/ticket for the cheap seat eighteen months in advance for a show you’d barely heard of.” Yup, blew it. Of course, I’m among the lucky ones; Hamilton, a song-and-dance celebration of our founding fathers, is actually going to come to my little slice of the country. One 15-minute BART ride and two months salary is all it would take to catch that show. Imagine if you had to take a plane to your nearest Hamilton. And, hence, that’s why this documentary was invented for PBS – to show all of us exactly what we’re missing.
It’s kind of cruel when you think about it – like teaching Jehovah’s Witness children about Santa Claus. So, here ya go, folks; have a taste of what you can’t enjoy. Go buy the soundtrack.
When you’re introduced in glowing terms by the FLOTUS, odds are you’re doing something right. For many of us, this documentary serves as introduction to Lin-Manuel Miranda, the most talented man you’ve never heard of. Legend has it the 36 year-old Manhattanite picked up a biography of Alexander Hamilton about a decade ago and the book … spoke to him. Should we all now be glad he didn’t pick up Fifty Shades of Grey? And apparently, while the biography did indeed speak to LMM, it spoke very sloooooooowly; it took the composer two years to write the first two songs – after he performed the titular introductory number in front of the Obamas, however, he was encouraged to write more. And he did. And when he was finished, the First Lady invited him back to show off the rest.
Whether or not you appreciate the numbers, Hamilton might be the cleverest show in human history. Am I exaggerating? No. But in fairness, it is wrong for me to aver such without ever having seen the actual show itself. This is what really talented people do when they’re encouraged to do so. Let me ask this – did Shakespeare ever set Richard III to music?
♪A horse, I say, my kingdom for a horse!
What’s that? Blasé? Don’t make me use brute force!
[chorus] Horseman, oh horseman, what he wouldn’t stand?
Surely you’d trade a stag for this land♫
Oooh, I think I got something here. Wait. No, I was thinking of somebody who can write music. Speaking of which, LMM has written music in (by my count) four different genres for this show … and that’s only part of the accomplishment here; Hamilton is a fullblown historical and political soap opera ultimately reminding us of legacies and current prejudices. The cameo commentaries from political figures are sweet, but the best certainly comes from George W. Bush, claiming that history needs to take a second look at certain notables, like Hamilton and … others. HA! Good luck with that one – your buddies can paint ISIL, the economic collapse, and the ugly state of the country in 2009 as the constructs of Barack Obama, but logic, history, and truth continue to say otherwise. Nice try, W.
Perhaps the best part of Hamilton itself is one not necessarily of LMM’s solo invention – the use of non-whites in all of the roles, including George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. The fact that these men were slaveholders is, thus, lost on nobody. It is an awesome commentary on our forefathers to recognize them for their genius while parading their faults center stage at the same time. You cannot 
separate the two and, ultimately, Hamilton argues, you shouldn’t try. Our historical whitewashing, so-to-speak, hasn’t really done our country any favors. The United States constitution is a marvelous and inspired labor of some of the greatest minds ever to roam our continent … and yet, it was flawed, just like the men themselves, which is why there are amendments.
Hamilton’s America is a cruel tease. We’re offered snippets of many of the numbers and how they look on stage coupled with the actors themselves talking about their roles, but neither completion, nor continuity, happens; honestly, it’s like getting to watch exactly five minutes of the Super Bowl, then getting exactly five minutes of the World Series, then exactly five minutes of the World Cup final, etc. You might see something amazing, but more likely than not, you’ll be left wishing for more. For a documentary a tad on the self-congratulatory side, that’s a real shame.
♪You say
The ticket prices aren’t a price that you’re willing to pay
You cry
“It’s only in town for six weeks and then it goes away”
Why so sad?
Remember how your neighbors all shout with delight
Now you’re making me mad
Remember, despite exclusivity, what will make this right
The soundtrack, on CD
You’ll remember singing it with glee
The soundtrack, in your car
Forever with you near or far
Tempos rise, phrases fall
You memorize them one and all
And when push come to shove
You’ll pretend the music is the only part that you love♫
Not Rated, 90 Minutes
D: Alex Horwitz
W: (None)
Genre: Infomercial
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Lin-Manuel Miraniacs
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: People who hate theater, history and politics
♪ Parody inspired by “You’ll Be Back”
