I had forgotten movies could be like this. You’d think I wouldn’t. You’d think I couldn’t. But it’s been so long since a film stated loudly and clearly, “I don’t give a crap about the MPAA rating!” And why would it? The Handmaiden was made in South Korea. And, bless them, the South Koreans don’t give a lick about MPAA ratings or the tame standards set by their Asian neighbors. Casual torture? Lesbianism? Nudity? Go for it. It’s almost refreshing to see a film this indulgent – especially one that gives no initial hint as to direction.
So how do you separate an heiress from her fortune? A familial den of thieves thinks they have a way – first get “Count Fujiwara” (Jung-woo Ha) to insert himself into the estate of Lady Hideko (Min-hee Kim) as a suitor. He suggests local pickpocket Sook-Hee (Tae-ri Kim) as the Lady’s new Handmaiden (under the guise that she’s not actually a pickpocket, of course). The two seemingly independent forces then work in conjunction to isolate the old geezer Uncle Kouzuki (Jin-woong Jo) –the head-of-the-household- and then work the Fujiwara-Hideko nuptials. The latter being out-of-the-way, then the bad guys drop the Lady at the nut house immediately following (geez, I thought my wife & I had a lousy honeymoon), liquidating the fortune and skipping the country. Sounds a little far fetched, but something’s gotta justify the 144 minute run-time.
Where’s the hitch? What didn’t these two count on? I’ll take guesses here. “Unaccounted-for person” would be a good guess, like another suitor or a hidden family member. No, that’s not it. “Extra layer of security,” maybe? Like a legal document protecting the fortune or a physical barrier of some kind? No. How about a hidden failing? Something Trump-worthy, perhaps, like the fortune is much smaller than estimated, or it’s all been hyped and doesn’t really exist? No. That’s not it, either. The true unaccountable barrier is, seriously, how screwed up uncle and niece are. Lady Hideko hasn’t been shown an ounce of kindness in over a decade and uncle has no desire in life other than collecting, displaying, and reading aloud ancient erotica – and when I say “reading aloud,” I mean Lady Hideko does the reading as she has been taught since childhood, center stage, all eyes at her mercy, in a room full of horny, middle-aged men. That is some level of f***ed up, huh?
The Handmaiden is occasionally brilliant. Act I asks you to take it all in – the huge estate, the mannered Asian standards and behavior, the details of the plot. Act II is like a test on Act I – ok, what
do you remember? Are you sure you read this scene the right way? Because here’s another angle. Simple con? HA! Good luck with that. And while we’re at it, it’s time to start stretching audience boundaries with risqué material … you can almost mark the exact moment when a viewing populace drops out – 63 minutes, we lose India, 72 minutes, there goes China, 94 minutes, too indulgent for the United States. I’d be frustrated as all Hell were I Chinese – you could really get into this movie before realizing it was unfit for your consumption.
In the end, I found The Handmaiden a bit too involved in alienation. The film is decidedly one worth seeing, but by Act III, it seemed to enjoy itself more than the story it was telling. It’s not just that The Handmaiden is too long – it is too long precisely in the most controversial scenes. In my estimation, this is a director/editor tandem not necessarily rewarding their target audience, but preemptively punishing their detractors. Bottom line for me is I want to see more films from Chan-wook Park. Oh, this is the guy wrote and directed Oldboy? Of course he did.
The set-up is a grand heiress scam
Trading street rags for fortune and glam
But there’s more, uh-huh
Bizarrotica
What’s Korean for “bam, thank you ma’am?”
Rated Very, very R, 144 Minutes
D: Chan-wook Park
W: Seo-Kyung Chung and Chan-wook Park
Genre: Offending the rest of the continent
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: People sick of Western standards
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Prudes
