Whenever you ask yourself, “how bad could it be?” The answer is “BAD. Real bad. Monumentally awful. An embarrassment to creation.” I know this. And yet I approached Misconduct with this question in mind citing Oscar winners Al Pacino and Anthony Hopkins in the cast. Yes, the film didn’t get major theater distribution. Now, sure, AMC, Regal, Cinemark, whatever, do blow it from time-to-time. However, they don’t blow it on Pacino and Hopkins; if those guys are in a film together and you live in a city with multiple movie houses and it never comes your way … avoid it. There are darn good reasons why said film didn’t get distribution.
Misconduct is a legal thriller in which it’s fairly obvious the writer didn’t do any research … as if that wasn’t already evident by the phrase “legal thriller.” Mogul titan starlord Arthur Denning (Hopkins) loses his property, er, girlfriend Emily (Malin Akerman) in the opening moments and the film chose to invent protocol for said situation, eventually having Hopkins himself walk into an art gallery with $2.4M in cash in a hand bag. Well … guess who has never imagined $2.4M before? And Denning has a pair of advisor/bodyguards who go along with this plan. Well … guess who has never been privy to hostage/kidnapping negotiation literature? And Denning goes to the art gallery and picks a fight with the first guy who shows interest. Well … guess who hasn’t done any research on money drops? We’re five minutes into the film. Five. I’ve already found three reasons to stop watching and we haven’t even gotten to either Pacino or our hero.
Ben Cahill (Josh Duhamel) is an up-and-coming legal stud. He wins each and every one of his cases, apparently, by cheating his way to victory. How? He knows a super hacker who feeds him all the classified dope. It’s funny, the word “discovery” is used often in this film, but more as a decoration than a legal term. Discovery is the part of a legal case where you exchange information, ALL information – that way nobody gets blind-sided; both sides get to argue exactly upon the evidence presented that everybody has already seen. If you’re pulling secret documents out of your ass and winning cases with them, something is wrong. Very wrong. Mrs. Cahill (Alice Eve) isn’t wild about their marriage – a past pain surfaces. Lo and behold, just when Mr. Cahill is trying to be better for his wife, his ex-lover Emily shows up to pay for play. Chronologically, these moments take place a week before the kidnapping. Emily has dirt and wants to trade it for getting dirty. Oh no, what’s a married man with a potential nine-figure bribe to do?
Al Pacino is Cahill’s boss; the one who decides if he’s a player or not based on the dirt. It’s hard to take Pacino in this role; there’s no way anyone would believe this guy was once a case lawyer – even those of us who have seen …and justice for all.
For a decade, Josh Duhamel has thrived in the role of rebound lover. Like all acting, it’s harder than it looks. I readily admit I cannot do what Mr. Duhamel does. That said, the rebound lover is easy acting. If you’re pretty when you smile, you’re halfway there already. The other half is making sure you’re better than the guy she’s dumping and he’s always portrayed as a douchebag. I swear to God were I an actor only cast in rebound roles, I’d have a cult following even if I weren’t any more talented than Spencer Breslin. Audiences LOVE the rebound guy. They want to love him. And he doesn’t have to do much, either. Show up with flowers is a go-to move. Rescue heroine from embarrassing situation is also key – for that one, you usually need not do more than go into a crowded scene, grab her by the hand, and drag her away. That isn’t even acting, that’s cavemanning.
Bottom line is this role was different fro Josh Duhamel. Nobody wants to fall in love with him here. Uh oh. Might have to act, son. And Josh
Duhamel is not up for real acting. Being the cocky, morally compromised, soul searching guy? Not you. And adds up to yet another penalty for Misconduct. I see the casting director didn’t do much research, either. Nobody here did, so why should you?
Won’t say Pacino or Hopkins are wasted in these roles; I got the feeling both were kinda phoning it in, anyway. This plays more like one of those TV murder mysteries with guest stars where Larry Hagman always does it. The whole thing is a waste of time. Waste of ink, too. Thank goodness I’m not using any.
♪You dance it like you’re blind, yeah
Shout, “hoo hah, Charlie!”
Dress fancy in suede-o
Say, “it was you, Fredo”
You claim beans and chianti
Yeah you play it cool
You repeat “quid pro quo”
Yeah how low can you go
Now come on, Tony
And Al get down here now
Signed you up right here
To the has-been shuffle
Yeah yeah yeah do the has-been shuffle
Yeah yeah yeah do the has-been shuffle♫
Rated R, 106 Minutes
D: Shintaro Shimosawa
W: Simon Boyes, Adam Mason
Genre: The kind of technical film you make when research ain’t your thing
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Pacino junkies
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Head-slapping film historians
♪ Parody inspired by “Harlem Shuffle”
