“Papa” is what you name a bear in a fairy tale, not the most hallowed writer in modern American history. So I’m not wild about what we called Ernest Hemingway (Adrian Sparks), but even if “Papa” weren’t such a lame moniker, Papa Hemingway in Cuba is still a stupid title. I think we all can agree that Teflon Don Hemingway in Cuba, Bambino Hemingway in Cuba, and Chocolate Thunder Hemingway in Cuba are all equally stupid titles. It seems clear here that the producers intended to bank on Hemingway’s legend, regardless of how little it had to offer in retirement.
Ed Myers (Giovanni Ribisi) was a Miami beat writer in the 1950s. Blessed by grace or circumstance or just touched in the head, the former orphan decided he needed to give a “thank you” to Ernest Hemingway, the man who inspired Ed’s mediocrity. Ed wrote his big feelings on paper and then his on/off girlfriend Debbie (Minka Kelly) sent it behind his back. Check it out, Papa wrote back, inviting Ed to go fishing, which I’m sure would be exciting for a lot of people. And then Ed kinda never left.
Still in the throes of fanboy-ism, Ed gives Ernest the lapdog routine even after the former is presented with plenty of reasons not to, including the fact that Ernie ain’t exactly good to his wife Mary (Joely Richardson), oh, and that little thing where Ernest leads Ed into a firefight instigated by Fidel Castro-led rebels. Lap it up, viewers. This is the exciting stuff. Ed’s paper, of course, loves the first-hand reporting, the political insight, and the palling around with Big E. The U.S. government does not love it; they think Hemingway is a traitor.
Papa Hemingway in Cuba is a fairly dull film; there’s only so much mileage one can milk out of a retired legend. To compensate, Ernest himself gets to switch tempo more often than “A Day in the Life.” Was he a paranoid schizophrenic? Was he a loving husband? Did he just live for fishing? Oh, please don’t get political. Seriously, Papa, don’t preach.
The acting is exceptionally weak in this film. Minka Kelly’s motivation is discernible only to herself. I can’t remember seeing another Ernest Hemingway performance, but I guarantee Adrian Sparks will not be the standard-bearer in that parade. The direction wasn’t any better than the acting. Bob Yari decided there was no better way to end a scene than having somebody disrobe, present us with a naked rear and dive into a body of water. Ummm, sure,
kudos for the nudity, thanks. I’m sure somebody will be turned on by Adrian Sparks’ bare ass, yes. But I’m pretty sure that’s not the screenwipe (“asswipe?”) they teach you in film school, is it? And did you really need this particular scene end more than once? Twice? Five times?
Papa Hemingway in Cuba probably just picked the wrong subject. The acting/directing isn’t good, but the film is more often than not hurt by a lack of intrigue. Personally, I couldn’t help thinking I’d seen it already. Hmmmm… Giovanni Ribisi following a legend around the Caribbean … alcohol … 20th C. political history … and a colorful figure calling all the shots. Yes, I was too hard on The Rum Diary. It was certainly better than Papa Hemingway in Cuba.
A tiny man embarks on a journey
One he hopes doesn’t end in a gurney
This Hemingway carol
Could end in peril
Thus marks the legend of Squirt and Ernie
Rated R, 110 Minutes
D: Bob Yari
W: Denne Bart Petitclerc
Genre: Post-legend bio
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Hemingway fanatics
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: The Feds
