Boston is getting some serious play these days, huh? At this rate, I fully expect the 2018 Oscars to come down to a fight between “Attucks,” a biopic about the first person killed in the Boston Massacre, and “E3,” a dramatic recreation of Game 6 of the 1986 World Series. Please add “Are There a Disproportionate Abundance of Major Releases Set in Boston?” to the long list of topics of which I want to see a scientific study. Wait. What am I saying?! This is 2017. Facts? Science? They don’t matter anymore. I’m going to take a page out of the RNC – I feel like all films from 2016 were set in Boston, therefore it’s true. All films from 2016 were set in Boston.
Boy, Dory sure had problems with the Muddy Chuck, huh? The Jungle Book captured the orange line much better than Warcraft. And who can forget when a group of Rogue One rebels stormed M.I.T. to capture the plans to Yankee Stadium?
Unlike those above, Live by Night actually was set in Boston, or at least the first part of it was. Thankfully, this is the part I’ll talk about. Joe Coughlin (Ben Affleck) is a 1920s gangster loose in the Back Bay and his father Tom Coughlin (Brendan Gleeson) coaches the New York Giants, er, is a local constable, both proud and ashamed of his legally nonconformist offspring. The Great War taught former soldier Joe that subjugation and pecking orders are for
suckers. It’s hard to hold down employment when you insist upon being the boss, however, so Joe opts for self-employment. Illegal self-employment.
Unfortunately, Joe is also a moron. You don’t mess with the arm-candy (Sienna Miller) of the head of the Irish mob (Robert Glenister). Now, to be fair, moron probably got you a little further in the 1920s than, say, now. Actually, upon second thought, that doesn’t make any sense, wouldn’t stupidity prove more lethal in the pre-Unions era? Hmmm, maybe I should just “feel it’s true” again. Done. It’s true. Literally adding injury to insult, Joe proceeds to steal directly from the big man himself. I guess you can’t fault the guy’s initiative, huh? That’s just five minutes of movie; there remain two more hours of plot to be had.
Joe is also a softie. He doesn’t like the killin’ part of gansterin’. Awww, isn’t that sweet? Ben Affleck constantly wants it both ways; on the one hand, he needs to play the heavy, the loner, the gunman, the rebel, the untouchable broodmeister. On the other, Ben is the life of the party, girl on each arm, loved for wisdom, philanthropy, charm, handsomeosity, and general awesomeness. He must have been dying to be Batman, huh? All of this is a mistake. I feel like Ben needs a full time psychologist – this somewhat puerile need to be the beloved bad boy, ummm, didn’t this lead to starring roles in
films like Pearl Harbor, Forces of Nature, and Gigli? In Live by Night, Ben is matched in romantic fashion with Sienna Miller, Elle Fanning and Zoe Saldana all while being The Man. You are straying from the path of the artistically righteous, Mr. Affleck. I’d hate to see you back where you were five years ago.
And the results reflect the lack of sagacity in the choices – Joe Coughlin is a sugar-coated villain, often giving an out or allowing a colleague to pull the trigger, consequently needing to be excused from the lethal consequences of his actions. While this connects the audience closer to the humanity of the hero, it detracts from the reality of the tale. Hence, I’m left with a mild recommendation if you can stand Ben Affleck. However, if you’re still sore about Pearl Harbor, don’t even bother.
♪Well, he cranked that old jalopy
And went cruising past the Commons with hoods now
Seems he forgot all about the shiny badge
Worn by the old man now
And with the Tommy’s a blazin’
He’ll nick every card game in town now
And he’ll run rum, rum, rum
‘Til Congress takes the 18th away♫
Rated R, 128 Minutes
D: Ben Affleck
W: Ben Affleck
Genre: Oh yeah, Casey’s brother
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: The Affleckted
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: If you don’t like Ben Affleck in the 21st century, you probably won’t like him in the early 20th century, either.
♪ Parody inspired by “Fun, Fun, Fun”
