Rare that we get a candidate for worst title so early in the new year. Then again, the producers of this film weren’t terribly concerned about a horror film where the villain doesn’t kill anybody, so what does it matter if we call him The Bye Bye Man, The Lullaby Bye Man, The Adios Man, or The “I’m Outty, Later, Dudes” Man. It all amounts to something stupid.
The danger posed by The Bye Bye Man begins in the prologue. Set in 1969, a suburban (presumably non-Bye Bye) man takes a shotgun to all friends and family who accidentally heard the name “Bye Bye Man.” The name itself is some sort of caustic transferrable virus resulting in paranoid obsession and the summoning of the demonic titular being himself. The earth-toned crime scenes would be grislier, but the prop guy forgot to add blood to the corpses. Well, perhaps it was a small caliber shotgun … or maybe he missed when shooting and beat his victims to death when we weren’t looking. One thing is clear – it’s Bye Bye Man’s fault. Hide the name forever so this will never happen again.
Years later, three kids are looking for off-campus housing. I see this is one of those deals where “off campus” means “two states away.” Elliot (Douglas Smith) and Sasha (Cressida Bonas) are pre-engaged. Their friend John (Lucien Laviscount) rounds out the trio because all triangles, love or otherwise, require three vertices. Elliot stumbles across psychotic repeated scribbles of “DON’T SAY IT DON’T THINK IT DON’T SAY IT DON’T THINK IT …” hidden in a long unused end table. The contact paper hides the subject in question: THE BYE BYE MAN. And thus, the adventure begins. Bye Bye Man likes introducing himself with a coin flip as if he’s about the referee a football game. Pretty soon, however, every cast member is intoning the “don’t say it, don’t think it” mantra ad infinitum. And people are *gasp* seeing things – like Elliot keeps seeing Sasha and John making out. I’m not entirely sure the latter is an illusion; John is clearly the better catch.
The powers of The Bye Bye Man are essentially the same as the evil mirror from Oculus: he doesn’t actually kill people; he just shows them insecurity-inducing lies over and over again until they want to kill themselves or others. Wait a sec. I know this one – a haunting obsessive power that distorts reality again and again and again until you completely believe things that aren’t true and act upon them in violent and self-destructive ways? That’s Fox News.
[Thought I was gonna say, “Trump,” didn’t you? He’s certainly comparable, but Bye Bye Man is a continual evil. IMHO, the forces suggesting we vote such an absurd demagogue into power are far more sinister than the power itself. That’s Fox News.]
My favorite scene came in the archive section of the school library. Elliot traces the only Bye Bye Man reference to an uncirculated collection and as he studies the reference material, the Man himself appears at the back table nearest the wall, facing Elliot five rows beyond. Each time Elliot resurfaces, however, Bye Bye Man 
comes nearer and nearer. Four tables … three tables … two tables … This seemed mildly alarming at first, but then I remembered this was a college library. Sure, Bye Bye Man is just cramming like everybody else. I mean he’s got that big Reaping III final ahead of him and he’s waaaay behind the other kids in the class, like Jason Voorhees, that dude from Sinister, and the congresspersons repealing Obamacare. The constantly getting closer thing? He probably needs a study buddy and he’s a little shy. Awwww. Poor Bye Bye Man.
I was more than a little put off by The Bye Bye Man’s lack of personal body count. You’d think he’d want to say, “Bye Bye” in person, no? Yeah, yeah, sure, I suppose manipulating somebody’s mind is in a way more evil than chasing them with a knife. I get that. But at the end of the day, the only people doing actual harm are the people themselves. I suppose I could see this as a deeper message (and one that does indeed apply to recent politics), but nothing in the film hints that there’s a greater understanding here … and the acting is piss poor. You want to foil Bye Bye Man? Stop with the weapons. He can’t hurt anybody that doesn’t want to hurt anybody. And what’s with the name control? You’d think people would start spreading the name not hiding it, wouldn’t you? There’s only one guy. What is he, the Santa Claus of malevolence? How’s he gonna get to a dozen folks simultaneously? How about hundreds? Thousands? “Yeah, yeah. Look. I got a ‘TO DO’ list a mile long. I hear you not saying and not thinking about me, but I’m really due in Cleveland – those people have not been thinking about me for weeks now. I’m exhausted.”
Fear not, Bye Bye Man. My attention span for you will last almost as long as this sent-
♪Bye Bye Man
Bye bye sanity
Hello trickery
Going out my hea-ead
Bye bye calm
Bye bye pleasantness
Hello chaos, stress
Think someone has to die-ie
Bye bye life goodbye–eye
There goes my baby, shacked up with John
Could swear she’s outside, is my mind gone?
She was my baby, til this consent
I wonder after, if she’ll pay rent♫
Rated PG-13, 96 Minutes
D: Stacy Title
W: Jonathan Penner
Genre: Hallucination
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: The Bye Bye Man
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Pacifists
♪ Parody inspired by “Bye Bye Love”
