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CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP O-VER-RATE-ED, 2016 version

I was told recently that the worst thing a film critic can do is compose an “overrated list.” The critic who does this is saying, essentially, “Your tastes suck. Mine are better. Let me tell you how and why.”

Hmmm. Well, yes, I suppose that is a bit true. Ok, it’s mostly true. And yes, that is indeed obnoxious. Usually I side on the idea that my tastes are no better; I’ve just seen more films and, at times, me say good stuff. However, in a year in which you assholes (you know who you are) elected Donald Trump as President, I have no qualms whatsoever about telling at least the American public exactly how shitty its collective tastes can be.

So here I go:

Jackie

A historically challenged look at the former first lady who, apparently, grieved by herself in the aftermath of one of the single most shocking events of the 20th century. Natalie Portman might at times remind overrated3you of Jackie Kennedy while Peter Sarsgaard sooner reminds one of Jackée than Bobby Kennedy.

Sing

Proof positive by itself that 2016 was not the greatest year ever in animation. Sing needed several more dress rehearsals before coming to the big screen. The singing wasn’t the issue, but every singer was.

The Jungle Book

I’m still wondering what y’all loved about this version – Bill Murray’s lounge lizard revival? Christopher Walken’s lounge lizard revival? The fairly untalented jungle orphan with the consistently cleaned and pressed loin cloth? I suppose Disney proved years ago that as long as somebody animated is singing, an audience will follow.  Here’s the proof.

X-Men: Apocalypse

Just show more of Jennifer Lawrence in the tight blue skin suit, ok? That move was working for ya.

The Light Between Oceans

2016 overrated2was just not Michael Fassbender’s year. Among this, X-Men and Assassin’s Creed, I see a lot of disappointment for myriad reasons.

13 Hours

Any film so inspired by deliberate misinformation, political grandstanding and intellectual dishonesty can’t help but make the overrated list. Fact is, any single person invoking, unprovoked, the word “Benghazi” in the entirety 2016 did so for exactly one reason: to hurt Hillary Clinton. There were no honest reasons for doing so. None, especially when you look at the past two decades of embassy attacks.

And much like the overhyped Benghazi “scandal,” the film is fairly empty.  Many champions of 13 Hours can view the bloodshed, horror, and carnage caused by people who care nothing for politics and come to the unbelievable conclusion that Hillary Clinton is somehow to blame for all of it.  Quite a moral compass you got there, fellas.

 

The last four here weren’t just overrated, they were flat-out bad. Each could easily have shown up in a “Worst of 2016” list. I have no idea what you jokers were thinking, but these four are awful films. Shame on you.

Nocturnal Animals

I want you to think about this, and I mean really think about it – this is a film in which Michael Shannon provides the moral center. ‘Nuff said.

Silence

Yeah, I wish.

Warcraft

I have no idea how anybody found this appealing on its own. On the giant list of thingsoverrated4 which we apologize for, Warcraft is gonna go somewhere between Donald Trump and leg warmers.

Christine

Unfortunate proof that you can do everything right and still make an awful film. I think this film was true to who Christine Chubbuck was, true to her thoughts, her situation, acted impeccably by Rebecca Hall, directed faithfully to the real Christine by Antonio Campos … and it was a miserable pile of crap. Some folks shouldn’t have biopics.

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