A stone-faced Jackie Chan holds a handgun to his temple and pulls the trigger. This is the first five seconds of movie. Oh, it’s one of these, is it? Guess I can put away my hope of watching Jackie jump through a shopping cart, use a “happy birthday” banner as a weapon, and then exchange a dozen mirror image kick-blocks with a kung-fu rival and wince in comic pain, huh? This is Serious Jackie. Old Man Jackie. Cop-with-checkered-past Jackie. Acting Jackie. Boo.
Hoping to find his estranged daughter, decorated police officer Zhong Wen (Chan) gets a rare invitation after hours to the hip Wu Bar. He and Miao (Tian Jing) have a cat fight over her orange hair, spider tattoo, and fortysomething boyfriend: the bar owner and namesake Wu (Ye Liu). Oh, the potential suicide thing was an early spoiler, of course. Not sure I’d consider suicide if my daughter showed up with orange hair, but then I’m not Chinese.
Speaking of which, there’s a weird vibe about how Zhong is a “Bad Parent” which made me curious — how do you get the label “Bad Parent” in China? Produce an “A minus“ child? Fail to honor one of the sixteen nameable 
generations on you family tree? Be inadequately self-effacing when ticking off the 47 reasons a neighbor’s child is superior to yours? There’s also a hint about Zhong being a “Bad Cop.” I won’t speculate as to how one gets that label. After the catfight, Zhong is attacked from behind and tied to a chair by Wu. Super, now there are three major things I’m confused about.
It takes a while to get satisfaction out of this hostage film, and I wouldn’t blame anyone who gives up before the 75 minute mark after not getting any answers. What we do get is bloody life-or-death kung fu – not nearly as much volume or fun as you’ll see in an average Jackie Chan film, but perhaps the intense nature compensates for the small amount/lack of ingenuity. I daresay, people who love Jackie Chan because he’s an institution will find satisfaction here. People who love Jackie Chan because he’s an entertainer will not. But you will get answers if you hang around long enough. They may even satisfy you.
♪You’re in a fix
Time for a fight
Need you a lift
Someone who might
Take on a crowd
Or better still
Use any prop
To give a thrill
Well they say this guy’s the limit
When comes to all kung fu
You know that all the villains
Have got a low IQ
Because he’s dad, He’s dad come on
You know he’s dad, he’s dad come on, you know
You know he’s dad, he’s dad come on, you know
And this whole plot you got
Goin’ right now
Will be foiled by one man
He’s dad♫
Not Rated, 110 Minutes
D: Ding Sheng
W: Ding Sheng
Genre: If you wait long enough, we’ll tell you what’s going on
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Jackie Chan junkies
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: “Fun” Jackie Chan junkies
♪ Parody inspired by “Bad”
