It’s a flea. You should know that if you’re going to invest over an hour of your life. The monster is an eight foot tall singing flea … and it’s the reason to watch the film, for there really is no other. The flea who sings and dances but doesn’t talk is the best character by far.
Now, when it isn’t singing and dancing, does it suck hosts dry of blood and internal organs? The film is inconclusive along these lines; we never see the creature eat, but given this is what fleas do …well, then again, human fleas that sing and dance might not – except for the guitarist of Red Hot Chili Peppers; he’s clearly still a blood-sucking parasite. So … hard to know.
The year is 1910 and idiots Emile (voice of Sébastien Desjours) and Raoul (Gad Elmaleh) are making a delivery to an absent mad botanist. As mad science goes, botany is truly underrated – everything is all about genetics these days. The proboscis monkey keeping guard of the lab sadly has a far superior sense of safety than the delivery boys, and before long the latter have accidentally combined a super growth formula with an enhanced signing voice serum and unwittingly doused a flea with it. The flea promptly escapes to Paris and is treated as a monster until cabaret singer (and Raoul’s would-be croissant) Lucille (Vanessa Paradis) hears the creature sing. And suddenly she has a duet. Yeah, ok.
So the flea grew to, I dunno, 1,000 times normal size? And can sing? And therefore knows how to sing in 
English or French or whatever it was supposed to be. Lucille only sings about Paris, btw, which seems kind of limited. You’re already in Paris – who are you trying to sell? Also, the creature seems to understand human language, and though it cannot communicate with words (outside of singing, which is never used apart from sheet music context), it certainly understands and responds to human emotions. Of course it does. Sure, give the flea a chance. I’m sorry, what is it eating again?
Lucille names her open hearted partner “Francœur” (which, if I know my French, means “horrible abomination of the natural world”). It’s fitting, really. It does have a lovely voice, even if forced to sing about Paris as well.
Suffice to say, this is among the most flattering portrayals of humanoid insect ever brought to the screen. And it’s both sad and correct that A Monster in Paris is the only Parisian I was drawn to here … much like a moth to flame. I didn’t really enjoy the heroes, villains, love interests or city, but perhaps I’ll bend a little for a film with a funicular scene. I’ve always been a sucker for funiculars, just not a blood sucker.
♪Sometimes I feel
Like my story is pointless
Sometimes I feel
Like I don’t fit in
To the city of Eiffel
The city of Dumas
What does life offer
A bug eight feet high?
I sing on her streets
Scaring people at random
If I had half a mask
I’d become a phantom
Someone took me in
And she dresses me deftly
I never worry
Cause I’m not a fly
You don’t ever want to feel
For a giant flea
Hit me with the DDT
Set a trap for me
Sure, I’ve got some appeal
When I sing sweetly
Long as I avoid the blood
Think that you’ll agree (yeah yeah) ♫
Rated PG, 90 Minutes
D: Bibo Bergeron
W: Bibo Bergeron, Stéphane Kazandjian
Genre: Duet with a parasite
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Insectophiles
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Arachnophobes
♪ Parody inspired by “Under the Bridge”
You mean that acaraphobes/entomophobes will dislike it? As it is known, arachnophobia is the fear of spiders. Acaraphobia is the fear of tiny, crawling, parasitic insects such as mites, ticks and fleas; whereas entomophobia is a broader term used to describe those with a fear of insects. The more you know….
A most astute comment. Thank you. Yes, I do believe either acaraphobes or entomophobes it a better word for this situation. I’m not going to correct it, however, because I wish your comment to stand. Just know I think you’re right.