Is a kitten a gateway pet? Does the acquisition of some adorable, helpless, mewy fluffball set one on the long dark path that ends at Crazy Cat Lady? OK, hey. That’s hardly fair. Obviously, Istanbul has a fair share of Crazy Cat Dudes as well. Obsession with faux feral felines is hardly limited to one sex and we meet plenty of both in Kedi.
Istanbul (not Constantinople) has a cat problem. The ancient city streets are simply teeming with “feral” cats. Of course, many see this as not a feral cat problem, but a lack-of-feral-rats solution. They have a point. I’m fond of rats, but all else being equal, I think an overabundance of cats
is probably the superior scenario. Still, does the verb “to spay” not translate in Turkish? Because the result is a loose screen adaptation of Wanda Gág’s Millions of Cats.
The film is Turkish, so I had to read subtitles. Didn’t matter much, of course, no matter what was on screen, I read something to the effect of, “You’re a cat freak!? Me too!” Some of these Kedi knights are really out there … look, I like cats as much as the next guy, but you do realize that cooking, boning, and shredding twenty pounds of chicken a day to feed neighborhood beasties is not exactly a sustainable business model.
Kedi plays like an Istanbul travelogue through the eyes of a cat – ooooooo, that’s scenic …this canal seems lovely … look at whatever that is … WAIT! Did I smell tuna? Yes, these carnivores will introduce you to the best parts of this glorious city to find discarded meat. Perhaps this is a documentary about the turkey carcass. Or better yet, this is like the episode of “Amazing Race” where the action dies:
Phil Keoghan: “We’re here today in the beautiful city of Istanbul for the fifth leg of The Amazing Race. This diverse 
metropolis is often considered the gateway between Europe and Asia. First, the players will solve a series of puzzles regarding the extensive history of the city … or maybe they’ll just sit around watching cats sun themselves for hours at a time.”
This film is, I kid you not, adored, practically worshipped by imdb. Wish I were kidding, but I am not. A documentary about cats that roam around the city of Istanbul. It is precisely what you imagine; there are no surprises here. I swear to you if I had the money and the freedom, I’d make a documentary about hamsters just to see if it would fly; I guarantee there’s more theoretical hamster material in my mind than I got out of Kedi. It’s not a bad film; I’m just slack-jawed over the fawning. It’s just cats, folks. Yes, they’re pretty. And kittens are adorable. Are they fascinating? Are they mysterious? Are they worth an entire movie?
I’ll let you decide that one.
♪Mid-day
And they prowl the pavement
Has the chip lost its memory
We are ready to film
In the sunlight
These greedy things collect at my feet
Then the big one begins to moan
Kit-ty
Everywhere in the city
Iams sitting among them
Can you remember when
We weren’t slaves to these furry little taskmasters
Let that memory live again♫
Unrated, 80 Minutes
D: Ceyda Torun
W: A mister “The Hat”
Genre: Cat obsession
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Cat People, you know, like Nastassja Kinski and Malcolm McDowell
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Tweety Pie people
♪ Parody inspired by “Memory”
