Oh what a fabulous idea! We can revisit all our favorites from the first film twenty years ago… why there’s Mark (Ewan McGregor) -the heroin addict- and Spud (Ewen Bremner) –the heroin addict- and Sick Boy (Jonny Lee Miller) –the heroin addict- and, finally, Begbie (Robert Carlyle) –the psychopath. And maybe we can relive some of our fav moments, like Mark diving head first into the filthiest toilet in Scotland or the death of a smackbaby. Yes, a sequel to the 1996 Scottish black comedy Trainspotting was definitely not a stupid idea.
A lot has changed in twenty years. In the world, I mean. In T2 Trainspotting … not so much. Spud is still a heroin addict. Begbie is still a psychopath. Sick Boy has advanced from heroin addict to cocaine addict. Mark is a redemption addict; that’s pretty much the only reason he returns because the mates he conned don’t exactly unfurl the red carpet and vomit all over it for him. Twenty years later, Begbie and Sick Boy are still willing to kill Mark over the £4,000 he stole from each of them. Bygones, lads? No?
Hence, the reunion is not without sparks. Mark arrives in the nick of time to save a suicidal Spud. He ain’t exactly the picture of grateful, either. Sick Boy, now “Simon,” (how quaint!) and Mark exchange pleasantries before Simon takes a pool cue and attempts to bury Mark’s head in the side pocket. Next time, Mark, maybe give him the £4,000 peace offering first? Begbie is in prison, so that summit has to wait. Don’t worry; it won’t wait long – the Scottish police in this film are little more than sentient haggis.
Each of the supporting cast gets a backstory to keep the film rolling. Spud doesn’t so much give up on suicide as channel his addictions into writing. Now free, Begbie has the ability to be the shitty father he never got to be. Simon uses his girlfriend Veronika (Anjela Nedyalkova) to run an ill-considered extortion scam. With some hard work, maybe he and Mark can open a brothel.
I’m sorry, why did we revisit these characters again?
Setting the bad blood aside, Mark and Simon do create some good times, both legal and illegal. The latter is probably the best scene in the film and one straight out of the “Nobody leaves without singin’ the blues” moment from Adventures in Babysitting. Interrupting a dance hall theft racket, a bouncer makes Mark and Simon improv to a crowd obsessed with the 1690 grudge match featuring Orange Billy v. Jimmy the Kid, Jr. While funny, the repeated punchline will not sit well with Papal followers.
People like me will remember that T2 used to be the codename for the first Terminator sequel. T2 Trainspotting is made more
entertaining by imagining Begbie as one incredibly daft Scottish Terminator. He doesn’t feel pity or remorse and he’s pretty single-minded in his desire to crush Mark. Robert Carlyle is ten years older than Ewan McGregor and looks every bit of it and more; imagining these two were at school together in the same grade takes Terminator-like sci-fi suspension of disbelief.
It’s entirely possible that this film was better than I’m describing it; after all, I never saw much magic in the first Trainspotting, either. Mostly here, however, I was incredibly put off by what little growth I’d seen in the players between the first and second films. So, give it a chance if you liked the first … otherwise, I found it difficult to find a rooting interest in this picture.
♪Looking back on twenty years and back to Edinburgh to make a fuss
Going to redeem my soul and if my mates approve, hey, that’s a plus
Going where nobody’s got a trade, don’t lay off drugs of any grade
I’ll wind up in mortuary; Begbie wants to have me flayed
Walk home to dad without spouse, sits around all by himself
I know it might sound strange, but I believe
Coming back here wasn’t wrong
Don’t go back to Smackville
Don’t go back to Smackville
Don’t go back to Smackville
And waste your whole career♫
Rated R, 117 Minutes
D: Danny Boyle
W: John Hodge
Genre: You can’t Glasgow home again
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Trainspotters
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Scottish police
♪ Parody inspired by “(Don’t Go back to) Rockville”
