“Now look, Dumbo. We’re really gonna need you to sell this. You can’t breathe. You’re suffocating. Make me feel it, babe …” In the “how did they film that?” scene of the week, Antonina Zabinski (Jessica Chastain) answers an accusatory, “what do you do around here?” by giving CPR to a baby elephant … in a party dress and heels, no less. Chastain is in the dress and heels, that is, not the elephant; the elephant is in the red tennis shoes, of course (if I’m remembering my elephant jokes correctly).
The Zabinskis, Antonina and Jan (Johan Heldenbergh) owned the Warsaw Zoo in the summer of 1939. Warsaw of 1939 was a lousy place/time in history; it was better for people who were not Jewish, of course, but only in that depletion of most everything that brings you happiness beats forced imprisonment. In September, German bombings destroyed the functionality of the zoo; “luckily” for the Zabinskis, Berlin zookeeper Lutz Heck (Daniel Brühl) was Hans-on-the-spot to claim all the good animals for safe keeping. The rest were pretty much executed … not unlike so many classifications of life the Nazis deemed inferior.
So you got a zoo without animals and a roaming occupied force literally setting camp there from time-to-time where they felt at home, probably the reptile house. What do you do? Well, turns out the Zabinski house is on zoo grounds and they have something of a Pole vault downstairs to keep spare or sick animals. Inspired by the desire to save a friend, the Zabinskis hit on an elaborate plan to steal away Jews from the newly constructed Warsaw ghetto, house them downstairs in the cages, and spirit them away to the wild (presumably after tagging them, of course). The cover for all this is a pig farm, in which the pigs get ghetto slops, the Nazis get bacon and the Warsaw underground railroad gets a steady stream of customers.
Lutz Heck –one of the worst names in the history of humans– also wants a partition of the zoo for mad science. Herr, what the Heck?
Hmmmm, I wonder if the zoologically dizpozed Zabinskis labeled their basement enclosure … perhaps creating a helpful placard explaining as to where Jewish folks can be found in the world and how they are presently on the verge of extinction.
The Zookeeper’s Wife brings a unique set-up to fairly familiar territory. Hiding from or outwitting the Nazis is a theme we will continue to see again and again and again. The Nazis seem savvier in several other films. That doesn’t 
make the danger any less real, and only some sloppy story lines involving Jan bring what could have been an excellent thriller back to simply watchable, perhaps a touch better than that.
How many endearing roles do you suppose Jessica Chastain has to have before we see her [read: I see her] as something other than an Ice Queen? Unfortunately, it’s going to take at least one more … but she did come much closer here. I would very much like to know the genuine relationship between Antonina Zabinski and Lutz Heck. Despite the “based on a true story” title, my personal guess is they actually didn’t know one another outside of a sporadic professional relationship. I dunno. How would you react to a colleague who decided to use your misfortune to conduct mad science?
Come and see the Nazi zoo
The animals march in two-by-two
The goose steps lively right in line
Adjacent to militant equine
The jackal salutes to thunderous cheer
You know he has Der Führer’s ear
The wolves put on a grand performance
They’re the benchmark for conformance
Not sure I get this; what the *bleep*?
Seems the rest are brainwashed sheep
I would distance this foreign “Zimon Zays”
But the same mind set made Trump our Prez
Rated PG-13, 124 Minutes
D: Niki Caro
W: Angela Workman
Genre: Sightseeing on the underground railroad
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Polish Jews
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Nazis
