The “real Rocky” ain’t “gonna fly now” any sooner than an emu tethered to a manhole. The “real Rocky” might do a one-handed push-up if you spotted him two hands and the “real Rocky” would likely sooner call out the wrong girl’s name while searching for the words, “yo, Adrian!” And yet there remains something likeable about Chuck Wepner (Liev Schreiber), the otherwise ordinary liquor salesman who stayed upright for almost 15 full rounds against Muhammad Ali.
Baseball writer Bill James once called a fairly decorated star a “window dressing” player, not intending to insult necessarily, but simply pointing out that the known accomplishments of the pitcher in question represented 100% of his value. This is Chuck Wepner to a “T.” If you were walking down the street and you encountered the “Chuck Wepner Store,” you might be fascinated by the window display: “Heavy weight ranked eighth in the world!” “Went fifteen rounds with Muhammad Ali!” “Was the inspiration for Rocky!’ This might prompt you to enter the store, which, to your surprise, you would find to be entirely empty. Maybe a cobweb and an emaciated spider would adorn a small disheveled rack of “Bayonne Bleeder” athletic wear within a sea of nothing. Chuck Wepner managed to move up the ranks by being little more than a stolid punching bag with a pulse; after that, he wasn’t a terrific thinker, husband, father, athlete, wooer, brother, or citizen. And from one bad poet to another, Chuck, OMG, you’re worse than Hallmark.
Wepner almost missed his big break several times. In the beginning of the film, he’s losing a fight late, but his trainer/manager/promoter/anesthesiologist Al Braverman (Ron Perlman) encourages him to knock out his opponent now because he can’t control the bleeding from Chuck’s left eye. Chuck’s strategy is no big surprise – the man knew how to take a punch and another punch and another punch and another punch … eventually, his opponents get tired of punching. This victory ensured Chuck would get a title shot at George Foreman following the “Rumble in the Jungle.” However, Ali (Pooch Hall) rumbled the heavily favored Foreman and there was no set agreement for Chuck to be Muhammad fodder.
In the meantime, Chuck was just a nice guy. A little too nice, perhaps. What seems to be a delightful family relationship with wife (Elizabeth Moss) and daughter goes Southpaw very early when judge Wepner here deliberately seeks the company of other women. While these moments were almost certainly biographical, they made me really sad. Chuck had a charming little life; I’m not sure how his women were able to stand his terrible poetry, but there was a palpable affability and humility to him … something that understood he was a quality boxer
only because he didn’t floor easily. The better part of his character existed within the woman he married. Now you’ve gone and spoiled it, you big jerk. And without wife and daughter, Chuck’s life really was quite empty.
In some ways, one has to credit Rocky for promoting boxing more than any single individual (including Ali) has ever been able to do. Chuck Wepner, aka “The Bayonne Bleeder” – a nickname he acquired for the speed at which he would spring a leak once punched – lived in an era where one could make it to #8 in the world yet still need a full time job to pay the bills. It is hard to say whether Chuck was helped or hindered by his time. He could have used the modern paychecks that would make full-time fight training a reality. OTOH, it is very unlikely he would have risen as prominently within the pressure of million-dollar paydays. Liev Schreiber seems to have gotten in shape for the role by being tall … which doesn’t seem far from the truth. Chuck, the film, is meaningless in a world without Rocky. Hence, while Chuck isn’t bad art, I could only recommend it to huge Rocky fans, and even then only as some sort of cinematic bibliography.
♪Make way, Muhammad Ali
Look who gets to fight Ali!
Hey! Clear the card, this is quite bizarre
Hey you!
Set a date!
For the big Wepner
Will Chuck
Throw a fist at Ali and black his eye?
Make hay!
He’s a clown!
Ring the bell! He’s goin’ down!
Ali’s gonna fight this guy
Champ Ali! The greatest he!
Ali, Muhammad
If correct, I expect
He’ll sting like a bee
Now try your best to stand there
You might need support of a chair
The longer it takes, the more of a legend you’ll be♫
Rated R, 98 Minutes
D: Philippe Falardeau
W: Jeff Feuerzeig & Jerry Stahl and Michael Cristofer & Liev Schreiber
Genre: Real life boxing
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Rocky fans
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: No lack of possible reasons here – you don’t like boxing; you don’t like Rocky; you don’t like the 70s; you don’t like Sylvester Stallone…
♪ Parody inspired by “Prince Ali”
