Sometimes you just want to eat something the size of a dump truck, y’know? I suppose we were bound to figure out eventually what they were feeding all the CGI dinosaurs in Jurassic World, no? Turns out it’s a Humvee-size super pig developed by Mirando Corporation. While just one of these beasts could probably feed Ethiopia for a month, the question remains: are they kosher?
Mirando ran a contest to decide which obliging small farmer could raise the best piglet of the original batch and after the Tilda Swinton corporate spiel, the camera finds a remote mountain paradise of South Korea inhabited almost exclusively by little girl Mija (Seo-Hyun Ahn) and her pet SUV, Okja. I wouldn’t call Okja instantly lovable, but it’s hard to deny the bond when you see the thing sacrifice itself off a cliff-face to save Mija. There’s also some problem-solving intelligence in there, too, which makes Okja-on-toast kind of problematic.
There are plans for super-pig, however, and the company has waited long enough. It’s time to invoke their Mirando rights. Get Johnny Wilcox (Jake Gyllenhaal) on top of that mountain! It’s time to collect Okja for honor ‘n’ slaughter. She’s soooooome pig. Turns out the idea of taking Okja from home doesn’t sit well with Mija. Might be different if Mija had friends or parents, but if you look at it from a strict companion point-of-view, Okja represents 95% of what Mija does with her life. It’s all about cannonball fishing, feeding the thing persimmons, or wrapping herself in an Okja blanket. Take away the monster and you’ve got … grandpa. Well, that’s no fun. Seriously. So wherever Mirando drags Okja, Mija will follow. After all, she’s got Seoul – or at least she does after ambling down the Korean mountains.
Okja begs the question: Do you suppose Bong Joon-Ho is a vegetarian? The food-source theme of this piece arrives in Seoul with the three-way battle ground of Mirando, Mija, and the friendly terrorist group Animal Liberation Front, led by Paul Dano.
Without warning, Jake Gyllenhaal and Paul Dano instantly switched their traditional roles of “troubled-but-sympathetic” hero and “guy I need to punch in the face at least a dozen
times.” As the leader of the animal rights crusade, Dano is surprisingly approachable and warm. Jake Gyllenhaal, on the other hand, studied Jack Hanna, The Kratt brothers, and Steve Irwin, and decided that his wildlife TV personality needed to be a morally-bankrupt, spastic, high-pitched mess. I have never before wanted to punch Jake Gyllenhaal, but if I had met “Johnny Wilcox” face-to-face, I’m pretty sure I would have.
This is probably the weakest Bong Joon-Ho film I’ve seen, which is praising with faint damn; Two of his films – Mother and Snowpiercer— were among my yearly top-10s. Okja has heart and attacks the general consensus of mass animal consumption, yet it’s impossible for me to remove this grey CGI blob from the grey CGI blob the director introduced us to in The Host. Okja might not have been the right film for me, but I’ll take a Bong hit any day of the week over most of that Hollywood stuff.
♪OOOOk-ja-hogga, roughly the dimensions of Bahrain
Oh, I’m told her meat
Does sure taste sweet
If you can just pry her hooves off the plane
OOOOk-ja-hogga, every night Mija my girl and I
Play our porcine game
It’s such a shame
That you are only CGI♫
Rated TV-MA, 118 Minutes
D: Bong Joon-Ho
W: Bong Joon-Ho and Jon Ronson
Genre: A girl and her pig
Type of person most likely to enjoy this film: Girls with strong stomachs and stronger stuffed animal collections
Type of person least likely to enjoy this film: Commercial pig farmers
♪ Parody inspired by “Oklahoma”
