Because, you know, when you have a hero named “Surly,” that’s a coup in itself. I mean, why wouldn’t you cash in? You’re gonna want several sequels, even a franchise, right? What child wouldn’t be caught dead without a Surly tee or dragging a stuffed Surly to the park? You might even invent controversy just to give the lovable Surly (voice of Will Arnett) something to be Surly about for film #2. Shirley, you’re all mad for Surly.
When this franchise… Stop. God, this is a franchise, isn’t it? When this franchise last left off, Surly and his collection of rodent pals took over squatting rights in the now vacant nut shop. Nature hates a vacuum and all. Of course, among their number is a Pug (Maya Rudolph), who also hates a vacuum, but for different reasons. There is no upper limit on the sloth involved in these masses assuming their rightful place in Nut Heaven. The Surly clan plan began pecan span, man. I’m not a fan. Yeah, it’s only a matter of time before this environment engulfs itself.
And that’s the cue to fight sloth with greed. After boasting deep pockets, the mayor (Bobby Moynihan) bemoans an inability to collect revenue from the public park. And at the exact moment the rodents accidentally blow up the nut shop, the mayor decides to turn the nature park into a theme park.
Wait. Did this problem just solve itself? Hear me out. Squirrel and pals want an efficient and easy source of food. The mayor wants to make more money. Does a permanent fair in place of the park not solve both problems? The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature wants us to rally for greenery. I’m with you if these are rural creatures, but they aren’t. Pigeons, squirrels, mice, etc. … these species don’t abandon when man shows up; quite the opposite, they stay and thrive. A squirrel needs a park like a coyote needs a desert – sure, that’s where you expect to find the creature, but it’s hardly necessary for survival. Childhood taught me many things and one of the most poignant was, and I quote, “a fair is a veritable smorgasbord-orgasbord-orgasbord.” Let it happen and you’ll have a source of food long after the nut shop supply was exhausted, no?
This, of course, isn’t how film plots work. Surly has to learn to overcome his sloth while the evil human needs to pay for his greed. Just a guess, but I’m betting there won’t be a whole lot of positive film portrayals of politicians in the next few years. Here’s a thought: in The Nut Job a parallel was drawn between the animals trying to steal from the nut shop and the humans in the nut shop trying to steal from the bank; the parallel tunneling-to-paydirt jobs showed actual writers at work. Why not have a similar parallel in Nut Job 2? Have the mayor and his cronies be guilty of sloth, not greed. The parallel stories could, ironically, overlap in some sort of property rights conflict, the winner being the set of creatures who figure out that industry is better than sloth. How does that sound? Ok. Truth be told, my plot needs work, too.
Miyazaki notwithstanding, cartoons need to be funny. There were a few decent gags in Nut Job 2. Nothing to write home — check that; I’ll write home about this
one: the mayor’s skinflintery leads to a carnival swing ride in which the seats are no longer basket chairs, but -due to wear, tear, and thieving- anything that constitutes a chair including dinner settings and office furniture. Maybe this is just a joke for me, but I love the idea of cut-rate substitute carnival apparati.
This Nutty sequel quickly devolves into man v. squirrel, a legion of kung fu mice, and the silly idea that these creatures couldn’t find safe homes in an amusement park or a golf course. The machinations of Close Encounters of the Squirrel Kind distract us nly temporarily from the fact that Surly has developed no consistent personality; in any five minute span, he can go from lazy to productive, selfish to selfless, coward to Braveheart and back again. It’s all ok if there’s laughter. After all, this is an animated film; I’m still waiting for some more.
♪There you see him
Lounging there in the park lane
He don’t got a lot of brain
But that doesn’t stop him
And you’re mad, oh my
Prob’ly dying to try
You wanna dis the squirrel♫
Rated PG, 91 Minutes
Director: Cal Brunker
Writer: Bob Barlen & Cal Brunker and Scott Bindley
Genre: Inventing controversy
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Children suited to identify with ill-tempered rodents, perhaps?
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Politicians
♪ Parody Inspired by “Kiss the Girl”
