There are solid reasons why Nazis remain the gold standard for villainy; they really had it all – aggressive, genocidal, bent on world domination and damn good at it, but that all you can find in the Borg. The thing that set the Nazis apart in my mind was a true contempt all things not German (Germaine?). The Germans slept-stormed through countries like Norway, swallowing them up like a vacuum and dealing with the remaining locals the way one might deal with an infestation.
On April 9, 1940, the German war machine turned its attention to Norway, a sparsely populated skiing community posing as a nation. Once German ships got within spitting distance of Oslo, it took less than a day for the Norwegian parliament to dissolve and the figurehead king, H.M. Kong Haakon VII (Jesper Christensen), to flee northward with the entire fam in tow. The procession included his son, H.K.H. Kronprins Olav (Anders Baasmo Christiansen), his grandchildren, several aunts and uncles and a host of Scandinavians otherwise headed for St. Ives. As the Norwegians had little to offer in the way of resistance, the invaders followed the king from hiding place to hiding place, obliterating scant local forces in the process. It kinda became the world’s slowest car chase, like that episode of “Dukes of Hazzard” where the General Lee gets a flat tire.
Haakon VII was never intended to wield actual power. His reign began in 1905 under the strict Bill Murray Christiansen provision that he “never play defense.” However, with the Norwegian parliament dissolved and their PM underground, the Nazis recognized Haakon VII as the only power in the land. Awkward. Speaking of awkward, The King’s Choice gave much screen time to Gesandter Curt Bräuer (Karl Markovics), the diplomat tasked with bringing the king to the table at the point of a gun. I’m sorry, why do we care about this guy? He’s neither villain, nor hero, and he exists in the film just to be abused by German high command.
Reality comes with such pathos, does it not? The Norwegians had no intent of letting the Nazis roam free on their 95-million-acre resort without a day pass. They were, however, pathetically outmanned and outarmed from the start. The camera finds several teen faces in snow fatigues; these kids should be lifeguards at indoors pools, or ski instructors for tiny Norwegian children. Asking a handful of farmboys to fend off blitzkrieg is like asking sea
turtles to fend off the ocean tide. The best part of this film is the contrast between Norwegians unready for war and Germans who have made war an everyday thing.
I went into The King’s Choice hoping for a spy thriller – something maybe about the underdog Norwegians pulling one over on their heavily favored foe. That’s not what this film is about. Nor is it The King’s Speech, where, say, Norwegians might summon courage in WWII from the actions of their figurehead. This film is more a study of Haakon VII’s 50 shades of grave as with each passing hour he realizes he’s going to have to confront his pursuers sooner or later. For me, this made the film anticlimactic from the outset and lengthy in the telling, but I could see true Norwegians like my grandmother finding a national pride in the mouse defying the lion. This is not, however, enough for me to recommend the film.
♪Up in my sub, taking this tub
In a fjord direction
Decided to play, with li’l Norway
Cause you reindeer jocks bug me
Docked in port, hunting for sport
Excuse my intervention
You guys resist, I have to insist
Gonna make a catastrophe
If you like it then you should have had the king sign it
If you like it then you should have had the king sign it
Don’t be mad once you see that he don’t run squat
If you like it then you should have had the king sign it♫
Not Rated, 133 Minutes
Director: Erik Poppe
Writer: Harald Rosenløw-Eeg, Jan Trygve Røyneland
Genre: Fleeing the Nazis, royal division
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Norwegians
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Fans of thrillers
♪ Parody Inspired by “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)”
