Many of you will never see a Tyler Perry film in your lifetime. I envy that. For those who do, however, the very next time you see a Tyler Perry film, I offer a challenge: when you are done with Perry’s subtle introspective stylings, watch ten minutes of, quite literally, a movie made by any other director. Tell me then if there isn’t an instantaneous moment of clarity, “Ahhhhhh, this is what movies are supposed to look like; this is how dialogue is supposed to be written; this is how characters in films are supposed to react.”
There is a lowering of standards that comes with every Tyler Perry film. Sometimes, you don’t even notice it. You get sucked into his world of sitcom-come-to-big-screen where the cinematography is dull as dirt and the interactions are all based on sleazy put-downs. I generally wake up when there are lessons being mistaught, but only because in my world the sight of a middle linebacker sized man in drag has become blasé.
The saddest part of Tyler Perry’s Boo 2! A Madea Halloween, written by Tyler Perry, directed by Tyler Perry, and starring Tyler Perry as each of the three leads: Madea, Joe, and Brian – and let me state for the record that only Tyler Perry could make a teenage slasher pic about an old black woman – where was I? Oh yes, the saddest part is that it started well. A crane shot shoots from off screen and then centers on a high school. Bird’s eye view? In a Tyler Perry film?! No way! Divorced dad Brian shows up outside school awaiting to gift his newly-turned-18-year-old daughter Tiffany (Diamond White). He mistakes her for turning five and then her mom shows up and trumps Brian’s gift of headphones with a freaking new car! So, ok, here’s a fairly accessible set of issues: divorced parents competing for a daughter’s love, a snotty teen being a jerk to her dad, a dad failing to recognize that his daughter is closer to woman than girl, youthful desire for independence, parental desire for control. Sure, I find the kid is a snotty diva, the mom a tool, and dad a punching bag, but hey, these are accessible issues.
Yeah, that was the first scene; the movie immediately took a tiresome turn from there and never returned. Bird’s eye view? HA! We rented that thing for an hour; it’s not coming back. To prove dad right, the snotty diva drives that kind of reckless you only see on television. The car issues center entirely around dad being trumped by mom and Tiffany’s poor driving skills. Never once is there mention of “gee, isn’t a car kind of over-the-top, gift-wise?” I’d even settle for, “maybe you can have a car when you’re more mature.” What do I know? I’ve only seen Tiffany act irresponsibly throughout two films. Tiffany mangles city streets on the way to the same stupid frat house from last year. You’re joking, right? The same forgettable douchebags Madea thwarted last year are back? Wow. Tyler Perry never wrote a character he couldn’t, nay wouldn’t, recycle. Speaking of which, then Brian returns home for the Madea effect: the geritol club once again filling his house with dreck.
I should mention at this point that Brian’s father, a happy-go-lucky dirty old man named Joe, is the most delightful character in the film. Sure, in between smoking weed, dick jokes, and general bullying, Joe pretty much treats all women the way Harvey Weinstein would, but some of his “whore” jokes can be gems. Where was I? Oh yes, this was my favorite thing about Boo 2.
Tyler Perry writes goldfish characters; every time the camera moves, the people forget what they were doing and deal exactly with the current stimulus. Nowhere is this more tragic than the horror genre in which several, not once, not twice, several times the players stop running from imminent danger so they can exchange barbs. Guy with a chainsaw right there, you were running, you made it 20 feet … and now you’ve stopped … to discuss the fact that there’s a guy with a chainsaw running after you … and this devolves into cheap character assassination. Is this the funny part?
Hypothetically speaking, if you were at a Halloween frat costume party and behind the 
scenes a mad slasher was making mincemeat of selected guests, how long would it take until you figured out something was up? I ask because I’m pretty sure I’d never get there. “It’s Halloween; somebody is trying to scare you. Huh, nice costume. Knife looks real. Oops.”
I have grown immune to Tyler Perry films over the years; I no longer need a figurative cleanse immediately after seeing one. But you can still tell the difference, immediately and dramatically, between the work of Tyler Perry and the work of a trained director. I’d like to end this by saying I don’t dislike Tyler Perry. Yes, I’m often venom-dry after a Perry review and I do hate his directing and writing. But I like the man himself. He has a great smile and good sense of humor –in films written by other people. If he wasn’t so darn insistent on making his immediate alter ego [read: Brian] into a milquetoast, I’d enjoy when he plays himself. In fact, if Brian and not Madea were the soul of Perry films, they would all rate at least a half-star higher. But right now? I really wish Tyler would take his enormous coffers and influence and invest in non-Perry black cinema. I guarantee there are at least 1,000 African American directors out there more talented than un-dragged Madea. Wake me when another gets a chance.
♪I was snoring in my seat late one night
When I woke to an eerie fright
‘Twas a monster on my screen before my eyes
And that’s when she did sermonize
It was all trash
It was Madea trash
Madea clash
The production was rash
“Her” tongue would lash
All “her” manners were brash
Madea trash
And “she” ’s collecting the cash♫
Rated PG-13, 101 Minutes
Director: Tyler Perry
Writer: Tyler Perry
Genre: Adding “Horror” to the things Tyler doesn’t do well
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Dirty old men
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Moviemakers
♪ Parody Inspired by “Monster Mash”
