Dustin Guy Defa convinced somebody that he’s the next Woody Allen. Writer/director/laugh track inspirer DGD wrote four Manhattan based stories that were pointless and unconnected, but showed just enough wit that one might think he was channeling the city’s venerable cinematic humorist. He isn’t.
Nothing tale #1 felt like it had been grabbed out of improv class:
Troupe: “I need a scene”
“News desk”
Troupe: “OK, I need some players”
“Veteran reporter!”
“New reporter!”
Troupe: “Great, now how about some action?”
“Murder investigation”
“Romance”
“First day on the job”
Troupe: “I heard three suggestions. What the Hell; let’s do all three!”
It’s the first day of reporting for Claire (Abbi Jacobson) and her boss, Phil (Michael Cera), decides a possible murder is the way to get your feet wet. Claire has neither the affinity nor the aptitude for reporting on a children’s lemonade stand, much less gutting a confession out of a new widow; this is all ok because Phil’s attempts to woo her through death metal and micro-managing are equally inept. These situations sound kinda funny, don’t they? They weren’t.
Nothing tale #2 was a subplot taken from, IIRC, every.single.modern.NYC.film in existence – a white dude (Bene Coopersmith) wants to acquire a copy of a rare Charlie Parker LP. This narrative benefits from Bene being obsessed with how he looks in a new shirt. That, too, sounds kinda funny, doesn’t it? It might have flown better if this story didn’t threaten leg-breaking.
Nothing tale #3 involves Ray (George Sample III), Bene’s temporary roommate –and the only connection in all these tales. Ray has made a series of unforced errors relationship-wise. He’s quite depressed about the hole he’s dug for himself, or would be, up to the point where the threat of leg breaking also finds his tale. I just don’t get this gag. Leg breaking isn’t funny. The threat of leg breaking isn’t funny. Ever.
Nothing tale #4 is about Tavi Gevinson being pissed off. It’s obvious to me that she’s pissed 
off because somebody gave the poor thing a haircut making her look like a 6-year-old boy with an all-day sucker. Yet, her ridiculous look is also not intended for comic purposes.
Where was the common thread in these episodes? You can’t just tell four lame tales and never have them intersect, can you? Hmmmm, Jabobson … Gevinson … maybe the casting director wanted to add Ray Stevenson and Barry Levinson to the other two stories and hope that his audience was really sharp.
So Mr. Defa, I see here you’re also the editor. [sarcasm] Color me shocked. [/sarcasm] A tip from me to you: when an actor has finished delivering his line, and especially an unconvincing line, cut away. To anything. Literally, anything. In too many scenes, Defa’s camera tends to collect an extra half second of information which is just enough to add a mild expression of “was that right?” For all you young actors out there, this is a great way to make sure your career is nice and brief.
Person to Person is a waiting-to-smile film. Like Bene ranting about his new purple shirt: “Do I look good in this?” “What does it say about me that I wear a shirt like this?” You’re so close to humor with this shtick that I want to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I’m still not laughing and I’m desperately hoping there’s either a big guffaw or something poignant in the near future. There isn’t. My star-and-a-half is quite generous, considering.
An ex-boyfriend is way out-of-line
A cub reporter is not feeling fine
Bene’s got the Blues
Tavi’s is a snooze
Tales so disparate, they don’t even rhyme
Unrated, 84 Minutes
Director: Dustin Guy Defa
Writer: Dustin Guy Defa
Genre: Maybe this plot will work … no … maybe this plot will work …
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: The Defa-mation league
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Woody Allen
