Here’s a film that seriously missed the toy boat. One theory of life states every single problem modern humans face comes down to overpopulation – resource allocation, climate change, religion, war, famine, evil clowns, you name it. Issues don’t magically disappear when population ebbs, of course, but what if we’re talking massive scale without killing anybody? Writer/director Alexander Payne came up with a Honey, I Shrunk the Kids solution, and managed to hit most every key issue with said solution while nearly avoiding all mirth one might associate with said adventure.
Do you know how hard it is to avoid smiles when you shrink people down to five inches tall? Apparently, it is easier than it looks.
Norway figured it out first. *Presto* tiny people. Tiny community. Resources saved! And while Norway engineered a small community of farmers, the United States turned it into a luxury profit venture. Of course we did. American ingenuity imagined Tiny Town and a set of infinitely wealthy retirees made completely out of people who were once rooted to the middle class. Paul (Matt Damon) is one such plant. Employed in the big world as an physical therapist for a restaurant chain, Paul along with his wife Audrey (Kristen Wiig) own little but the house Paul watched his mother die in. Mom’s infirmities robbed Paul of resources and his medical school dream. Finally free from debt, these two now have
mobility, but nothing to be mobile with. Now see here, Good Will Slumming, as a giant you own nothing, but for a small large fee, you guys can be Fisher-Price zillionaires. Yay!
The EZ Bake Oven transformation is kinda funny, as is the immediate “after,” where the unconscious tiny bodies are scraped spatula-style from the human kiln. I made note of this as it was the very last time I laughed in this film. Seriously. A collection of five-inch tall people and that was the very last laugh. The immediate downer came when Audrey refused to become a living Shrinky Dink, leaving Paul without a mate or a clue. Good Will Bumming.
One of the strengths of Downsizing coincides exactly with its biggest weakness: realism. The truth is shrinking people to the size of dolls doesn’t actually solve a whole lot of problems. All you gain is relative wealth. That doesn’t equal happiness. Ask lottery winners. Odds are a six-foot-tall miserable asshole will still be a miserable asshole at five inches tall. Yes, shrinking people will preserve and stretch resources, but that’s all it will do. Not everybody can be a retired fortysomething easy-street millionaire; that’s not how life works. There is still the service employment economy and medical professionals and policemen and firemen and chefs and hookers, etc. I would venture to guess these jobs are even rarer and more valuable among the doll house crowd.
Downsizing anticipated the service sector crowd and created, believe it or not, a Tiny Town slum. This is where the film introduces angry barking seal impersonator and my least favorite character of 2017: Ngoc Lan Tran (Hong Chau). Paul shows sympathy for the one-legged Vietnamese woman -to his detriment, as she sees this as an invitation to order him everywhere. Is this how we imagine all Vietnamese women talk? “YOU FIX!” “YOU STAY!” “YOU GO NOW!” This stuff is straight out of the worst stereotypes Americans had during the Vietnamese War: “ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME!”
BTW, who would have imagined Steve Martin as a great
visionary, huh?
I have such mixed emotions about Downsizing. This was a great conceptual film, and I haven’t even gotten to some of the parts I really enjoyed, like political ramifications and set design. I also didn’t hit some of the omissions that were real problems. Like, say, what if there’s an ant problem? Means nothing to a six-foot human, but five-inch humans go from #1 on the food chain to, I’m guessing between #40,000 to #50,000. In the end, I fault the characters: Milquetoast Paul and his miniature brand of wishy-washy didn’t do it for me, and he’s -arguably- the best character in the film. At the end of the day, the only thing Downsizing stretched was my patience.
♪Cover me with diodes, baby
Cover me in white
Roll me in that EZ bake
And flip the switch to “slight”
Physicians come, I don’t know why
Hoping I’m not gonna die
Small me! (Small me) on the sheet
You can bake me like some piece of meat
Small me! (Small me) and my spouse
Then direct us to Barbie’s Dream House
Small me♫
Rated R, 135 Minutes
Director: Alexander Payne
Writer: Alexander Payne, Jim Taylor
Genre: Our screwed future
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Those who enjoy theme over delivery
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Character hounds
♪ Parody Inspired by “Call Me”
