That lovable English bearchild is back with his pals Piglet, Eeyore, Tigger and new adventures to boot … wait a minute. Different lovable English bearchild returning for adventures. So different. So, so very different. For instance, Paddington (voice of Ben Whishaw) enjoys marmalade while Winnie the Pooh enjoys honey. Why, that’s the difference between pavement and asphalt! On top of that, Paddington thinks with his stomach, snacks during tense situations, and uses childlike innocence as a defense mechanism. Let’s see Pooh do those things, bucko! Oh, right there in Chapter 1, huh? Well, Paddington is technically Peruvian. Can’t say Pooh can make any such claim.
If nothing else, Paddington 2 may well claim the first ever pop-up book MacGuffin. No longer needing to introduce the anthropomorphic young bear to audiences, Paddington can go straight to having adventures. Ok, why isn’t Paddington in school? He walks, he talks, he’s treated like a regular member of society. He’s clearly not an adult and deficient in several areas of basic knowledge from use of simple tools to understanding of physical laws. The kids in the house go to school; why doesn’t the bear? I digress. Paddington wants a birthday gift for his beloved Peruvian aunt. Unable to bring her to London, he locks onto a one-of-a-kind pop-up book of the London cityscape. Super. Get the book. Uh oh, this one costs £1,000. Seriously? Someone should tell the bear that kind of wad, he can ship half the Lima Zoo to the U.K. Well, not really, but you know what I mean. Heck, Paddington could probably make a reasonable London pop-up book himself for £10, couldn’t he? And there’s more – the bear is not the only suitor, for the book contains a valuable secret. Of course it does.
In one of those wrong-place, wrong-time mix-ups, Paddington is accused when the book is stolen and so the cuddly little optimist gets sent up the river. Is this how justice works in the U.K.? Underaged first time offender, unreliable witness, no discovery of the stolen object, minimal damage, and he gets THE BIG HOUSE?! This is worse than Trump’s stance on Mexicans. Well, maybe not that bad.
I still don’t understand how Paddington speaks English, but apparently that’s my issue alone.
The prison scenes are the best in the film. Yes, the hyperbole might be a bit much for those odd folks who accompany small children to the theater, but handling oneself with grace under adverse conditions and making marmalade out of prison gruel are wonderful lessons for youngsters, especially those with future careers as prison inmates. And after making exciting new friends, perhaps the bear can get a lesson in Defense Against the Dark Arts from Mad-Eye Moody.
How is it all modern English comedies eventually devolve into Harry Potter reunions? When exactly does this happen? “Dudes. Sorry, ‘Blokes.’ We’ve got a kiddie tale about a talking bear in London. What we need right now is Dumbledore, Umbridge, Slughorn, Mad-Eye, and Molly Weasley.” (Michael Gambon, Imelda Staunton, Jim Broadbent, Brendan Gleeson, Julie Walters) For however nice it is to recognize Potter alums, 
however, two non-Potter adults caught my attention in the Paddington sequel: Hugh Grant, personally reuniting with every character he’s ever played, is having a grand time as a preening prat. Also Sally Hawkins returns as Paddington’s step-mother, which is no big deal except thanks to a fantastic 2017 (I’m glad somebody had a great 2017), I now know who Sally Hawkins is. And just like in The Shape of Water, Sally does once again dive into wet expanse with the express interest of helping out a strange alien beast, but -for all you concerned parents and horny teens- these interactions strictly undercut the mature audience threshold this time around. Awwwww.
Paddington 2 is an acceptable children’s film; I think it lacks both the universal appeal and the guffaws of the original, but remains amiable throughout. It’s hard not to like the child-sized bear and while I’ve probably seen as many of his adventures as I need to, I won’t cringe for Paddington 3.
The bear skips through life pleasantly
With dubious choices, I think he
Before earning jail
(A definite fail)
Should opt hibernation to b&e
Rated PG, 103 Minutes
Director: Paul King
Writer: Paul King and Simon Farnaby
Genre: Ernest Goes to Jail, but with a bear
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Your teddy-bear lovin’, prison-fearin’ six-year old
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Anthropomorphophobes
