Aren’t hit-person films supposed to be fun? Aren’t they supposed to right wrongs wrongly or wrong rights rightly or channel your inner sociopath or something? This one has all the joy of proctology exam. The professional-assassin-as-cinema-hero trope is a favorite because it not only provides an escape from reality; there’s also an escape from morality. This is important. Murder is an abhorrent thing; one of the key functions of cinema is exploring moral ambiguity. Is it ok to kill if you’re killing a bad guy? Is it ok to kill to protect a loved one? Is it ok to enjoy fictional murders? Is it ok to enjoy murdered art?
Yeah, I’ve already put more thought into Proud Mary than the producers did, so I’m gonna stop.
Mary (Taraji P. Henson) is a Boston hit-woman who looks less like an Atomic Blonde badass and more like your mom. This thought, unfortunately, is reinforced before we meet Mary. Danny the drug mule gets a good beating from guy-who-obviously-won’t-last-until-Act-II (Xander Berkeley). Mary happens on thirteen-year-old Danny (Jahi Di’Allo Winston) collapsed in an alley and takes him home for some nurturing. At this point, neither Danny nor we know Mary is a hitter for an organized mob. We suspect, however, when the kid enters the forbidden closet with the standard display window collection of arms. I’m never going to find out, but I’d love to know if real life hitmen have automatic drawers with cleverly concealed professional displays … and if they do, who built them? Are all hitmen do-it-yourself-ers?
The Danny-coddling is a mistake; we have to see Mary as a callous life-taker before we see her as a loving nurturer – because when Mary returns to Uncle (Berkeley) for retribution, the scene feels like she came in to talk, got in over her head, and was awkwardly forced to clean house for self-preservation. We don’t need justification here; we have it the moment Uncle slaps Danny. The chaotic violence makes the scene feel like mom is a reluctant hitwoman. That isn’t an escape; that’s a tragedy. I suppose this could be a black comedy [read: Serial Mom], were there anything remotely humorous in the film. There isn’t.
So in a film billing itself on badass, the first hour is one tepid firefight and an assassin more drawn to parenting than a fertility clinic. And such is reinforced when Mary’s boss, Benny (Danny Glover, who is certainly too old for this shit) is blamed for Uncle’s death. Mary is exactly silent and responsibility elusive at a time when we need her to be distinctly, “Yeah, I killed the mutherf****r and I’d do it again!” *sigh* There’s nothing like a January action film to make you lose your desire for action films.
I don’t think Taraji P. Henson is miscast here; she could have made a stellar anti-hero. Yet, the writing is so poor and she seems so aloof, so secondary in her own film. There are entire scenes which feel like that Progressive commercial: “Quiet please, the men are acting.”
Because Proud Mary seemed to offer so little, I spent 
75 minutes of runtime wondering why this movie was made – Is this a misplaced feminist #metoo anthem? It is getting in on the Atomic Blonde angle? Is this film trying to present a hitwoman-with-a-heart-of-gold? I just don’t get it. And then the scene happened and it all became crystal clear. The climax shows Proud Mary herself using the kick-ass skills we’ve been waiting a whole film to see while the soundtrack plays a Tina Turner cover of “Proud Mary.” Yup, this is why we’re here. It’s about freaking time, movie. Now, is this scene a good enough reason to make an entire film? Dudes, it’s not even a good enough reason to make a music video.
♪Half-assed a job in the city
Workin’ for THE MAN on a weak screenplay
And I never lost one ounce of my being
Worryin’ ‘bout a thing like integrity
Big wheel palms are greasin’
Soul currently, I’m leasin’
It’s a sellin’, sellin’, sellin’ out endeavor♫
Rated R, 89 Minutes
Director: Babak Najafi
Writer: John Stuart Newman & Christian Swegal and Steve Antin
Genre: Unsuccessful escape
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Nurturing moms who just happen to kill people from time-to-time
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Escapists
♪ Parody Inspired by “Proud Mary”
