“Amiable protagonist” probably isn’t my #1 criteria for enjoying a film, but it’s not far off. When you like the main character, it’s not a far stretch to like the film. In fact, I cannot remember the last time I loved the hero, yet hated the film. Well, that is until last night when I saw The Polka King starring Jack Black as the lovable, unwitting real-life criminal/band leader Jan Lewan.
Polka isn’t exactly a universal love. As music goes, it’s got two strikes right-off-the-bat of being both very ethnic and a tough sell, like sitars and bagpipes. Jan Lewan was born during the German occupation of Poland in WWII. Every bit of that sentence is irrelevant except to put in context how one might see his odd path from Nazi pushpin to polka kingpin. And kingpin is being generous. Jan certainly was big among the polksters in the 1980s, which is probably akin popularity-wise to being a master of D&D.
It is difficult to say what is true here exactly. Both the greatest strength of this picture and the greatest weakness lie in the fact that Jack Black decided to play Jan Lewan as a happy-go-lucky doof, one who loves music, loves America, loves his wife, loves his child, and -above all- loves making people happy. We’ve seen Jack Black doing the music thing before (School of Rock, Tenacious D), but The Polka King allows him to enjoy the spotlight constantly; there is no hidden agenda or grudge. I find it hard not to be happy when Jack Black is happy and Jack Black is happy throughout this film.
So here’s a Polish immigrant music maker who is a consummate marketer – he sells his music, he sells his style, he has a gift shop and catalog business and makes no money at it. His gimmicks are all cheap and mildly degrading – his wife Marla (Jenny Slate) always introduces the band in some sort of Oktoberfest costume; yet another woman in a bear suit dances along with the electric clarinet. And one day, his talent, Mickey Pizzazz (Jason Schwartzman), claims he can’t do the nickel and dime (złoty and groszy?) thing anymore. So Jan’s gotta find a way to keep Mickey happy while not jeopardizing his crappy business, crappy home, or his crappy life. OK, that’s not fair. It really doesn’t matter how pedestrian Jan’s life seems if he loves it, and he does. The question remains, however, how does Jan keep the life he loves without mortgaging the things he loves to keep it?
The answer: invest in Jan! Just pay Jan some money and he will give you some interest back, like a bank. Jan isn’t a bank, of course, so how does he pay his investors? More investors! Ladies and gentlemen, this is called a Ponzi scheme. I’m not quite sure where one draws the line between “Ponzi scheme” and “bank account,” but this is decidedly on the wrong side of the law. And Jan did this for years, and all the 
while his often aged investors happily gave him money hand over fist. All money that Jan truly intended to repay. He just wanted to make his wife and best friend happy.
I think this is where The Polka King loses me – Jack Black plays Jan as completely innocent 24/7. He just wants to do right; what’s wrong with that? It’s possible he can’t even spell “Ponzi,” let alone set up a Ponzi racket. I seriously doubt the real Jan Lewan was so naïve. And, thus, The Polka King became a rather tough watch for me. I truly liked Jan; I don’t want to see him do illegal things and I didn’t want to see him dupe those even more innocent than he. This whole film is a little like watching a cheery toddler with a loaded handgun in a room full of doting admirers. Eventually people are going to get hurt, and it’s going to be somebody’s fault, but do you really want to see that toddler pay the price? I can’t say there was enough humor or good will in this script to find the fun consistently.
♪Get out your checkbooks, the scheme has begun
The Pennsylvania Ponzi
You will get cash back, I swear you’ll have fun
The Pennsylvania Ponzi
It started with this guy, our new Polish son
It’s bound to leave you empty
Avarice is gonna claim ya
Doing the Ponzi from Pennsylvania♫
Rated TV-14, 95 Minutes
Director: Maya Forbes
Writer: Maya Forbes, Wallace Wolodarsky
Genre: Polka ‘n’ Ponzi
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Jack Black-listers
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Those not into Black humor
♪ Parody Inspired by “Pennsylvania Polka”
