Do you remember Be Cool, the underwhelming 2005 sequel to Get Shorty? Of several stomach-churning moments in said film, one topped them all: a conversation in which Chili Palmer (John Travolta) tells Aerosmith lead singer Steven Tyler why he wrote “Sweet Emotion.” I’m sorry, you’re actually doing this? You’re telling a songwriter why he wrote a song? Doesn’t he know? With that thought in mind, today we have an entire film based on an outsider telling a songwriter why he wrote a song.
That’s how I Can Only Imagine begins: Amy Grant (Nicole DuPort) telling Bart Millard (J. Michael Finley) why he wrote the show-stopping, er, show-starting Christpop ballad “I Can Only Imagine” and making him relive it in detail like some disturbing form of screen therapy. Young Bart was abused by his dad, Dennis Quaid. I know what you’re thinking, but the abuse of the lad does not take the form of dad strangling Bart while gritting, “Why you little …” That image is just wrong; there was no gritting. So Mom sends li’l Bart to bible camp where he meets the girl who falls for him forever. This took only a handshake, of course. Ah, yes, that so reminds me of camp. Mom takes this opportunity to leave Dennis Quaid and never returns. “No, no, son. Your mom didn’t leave because of you; she left because you were away for the weekend.” Yeah, combining that little gem with the idea of spending the next decade alone with the abusive parent … I think we should be very pleased Bart Millard turned out to be a songwriter.
Next scene, I swear, Bart is in “high school” even though he looks middle aged. Picture current Seth Rogen playing his same character in “Freaks and Geeks” and you get the idea. After Bart’s football career ends in a broken bone (I’m guessing osteoporosis), he gets suckered into the lead in “Oklahoma,” which goes … OK. :rimshot: And before long, he’s had enough of abusive dad, so he skips town, finds a band, adds manager Trace Adkins, and acquires some lame explanation about why he’s no longer with Shannon (Madeline Carroll). The problem with the elimination of dad and Shannon from the action is the film was already way Bart heavy. The Bartcentricity angle only gets further out-of-control when the band struggles and, for lack of supporting characters worth describing, BM has to make God a co-star.
I love this next part because no band member seems to object in the least that their rock ‘n’ roll cover theme turned in into the Bart & God show overnight. The barely introduced musicians collectively said -off camera- “Huh, we changed genres. Well, by golly, I guess that’s who we are now.” And when the band continues to fail, Trace slaps Bart silly with the message of authenticity, authenticity, authenticity – make your pain into your art. Then and only then will greatness follow.
Am I understanding this correctly? We have Trace Adkins as the voice of the community – he is constantly pushing the authentic. The non-religious theme of this picture is great art 
can only come from real circumstance. So the minute the kid comes up with an actual piece of artistic genius (the song “I Can Only Imagine”), the first response is, “let’s give it to Amy Grant!” Because … why, exactly? Where does Amy’s great art comes from? The travails of plagiarism? If it’s not her pain that caused the song to be written, isn’t your thesis 100% full of shit? Yeah, you just wanted to preach some Christian message of faith, belief, and redemption, didn’t ya? Well why didn’t you just say that instead of presenting me with Seth Rogen in The Buddy Holly Story?
Both the film and song I Can Only Imagine are –on the surface- without a political bent, for which I am grateful. However, one can’t help but notice that nobody made a biopic describing the creation of “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)” by Beyoncé, which means that this is without-a-doubt a politically motivated effort to bring this barely concealed ad for Christianity to movie-going audiences. Well, guess what? There is nothing quite as suspect as the values of rural American Christians these days. I make no claim to know Christianity, but I know this much: If you can tell me straight-faced that Jesus Christ would promote Donald Trump or whatever is going on in modern Republican circles, you are … incorrect, very, very, very incorrect, to say the least. And this kind of film feels like gross overcompensation to hide a slew of otherwise compromised Christian values. Hence, I ask, is “I Can Only Imagine” typical of rural Christian faith and values? Is this piece of art an inspiration for the current movement that promotes Donald Trump as champion or instrument of Christian morality? Because if it is, you’re better off promoting “Disco Duck.”
♪I can only examine
What choices led here
When I walk
Out the door
I can only examine
What motivates me
To see Hell
Then I am free
I can only examine
I can only examine
Surrounded by weak Dolby
Unconvincing Christian grill
How long is this film, Jesus
Is this not over still? ♫
Rated PG, 110 Minutes
Director: Andrew Erwin, Jon Erwin
Writer: Jon Erwin, Brent McCorkle
Genre: Christ!
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: MercyMe groupies
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Social workers
♪ Parody Inspired by “I Can Only Imagine”
