I cannot tell whether this film is intended to mock the Trumps or the Bluths. The Trumps would seem the obvious comparison, given that the entire Hidalgo family is presented as uber-wealthy corrupt political buffoons, enhanced by the idea that the film is Mexican – gee, why would Mexicans want to mock the Trumps? However, the buffoonery is comic in set-up and highlighted by a matriarch constantly skyping from prison, which seems straight out of “Arrested Development,” no? The latter thought is buoyed by our heroine, the one clan member who isn’t a tool and has tried very hard to distance herself from her people.
Valentina Hidalgo (Marimar Vega) is going to get married. The wedding will take place in New York City, where she lives. She will marry American Jason Tate (Ryan Carnes), who, gee, seems like a good enough guy to spend your entire life with … or at least the next thirty seconds of screen time. Meanwhile, in Mexico City, the Hidalgo campaign has some serious issues: dad is running for mayor, but the idiot son just got arrested again, and the nth rebranding of their political circus isn’t taking. The current title for this family of gazillionaires is “The Austerity Party.” Sure, you want to laugh at the idea of wealthy out-of-touch moguls presenting themselves as champions for the poor, but, truth-be-told, this idea stopped being funny in exactly November of 2016.
The media blitz has asked for a reckoning of Hidalgo assets. Huh, wouldn’t such show up on tax forms? Hmmm … a reluctance to release tax information to the public because it will clearly contradict your claims? Where have I heard of that before? So here’s the big plan: get that drifty Valentina back here, have her marry a family friend, Angel (Omar Chaparro), and hide all the assets in his name during the campaign. Oh, and Angel and Valentina used to be a thing – raise hands all who can’t see this plot parading down Broadway. Sorry, parading down Paseo de la Reforma. All those with hands raised, have you ever seen a movie before?
Ok, so I could see the plot points coming and I can’t say there was anything fresh in set-up or execution. However, I did enjoy one relationship in the film, and it was neither 
Valentina-Jason nor Valentina-Angel. I enjoyed the bonding from the men, Jason and Angel. A film like this is too immature to follow such into a deeper level of relationship, and perhaps that would transform a comedy into a drama, or in the case of Mike Pence, a horror. Yet, in my viewing, the budding bromance between rivals eclipsed either potential romance.
I guess this is wedding season, as the movies have shown me three times in last month. What happened to spring weddings? Dudes, patience. You don’t need to get your Fifty Shades in all at once. Anyway, La Boda de Valentina (literally “Valentina’s Wedding”) looks like another case of rushing the season too early. While the ending in my head where Jason and Angel run off together would have been superior on several angles (“angels?”), I cannot claim there was a great film here no matter what you do.
Valentina loves Jason, it’s reported
Yet her familia has issues, assorted
Orange Donald will unravel
All these problems with a gavel
Soon enough, she’ll just be deported
Rated R, 99 Minutes
Director: Marco Polo Constandse
Writer: Santiago Limón & Issa López
Genre: Half-assed comedy. Sorry, that’s media de burro comedy
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Suckers for happy endings
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Suckers for realistic plots
