When I was a kid, I loved Ray Harryhausen films. I didn’t care that they were bad; I didn’t care that the Claymation monsters look fake. Of course they looked fake; that was part of the charm. They’re monsters. For all their mediocrity, Harryhausen films were awesome at two things: 1) The movies were always about getting to the next monster. 2) The people always had a goal. Jason had to get the Golden Fleece. Sinbad had to get the Golden Saber. Hercules had to take a Golden Shower or whatever. Point is, these films always knew where their pita was pocketed, so-to-speak. These days, CGI has replaced Claymation, and it seems the winning Claymation formula has been erased along with the dated technology.
I’d say CGI erased the magic of Claymation, which it did, but it never erased the charm of Claymation. I’m not gonna get all wistful and nostalgic. Wait, ok, I’m not going to get any more wistful and nostalgic; I will simply say that when I see a film like the one in this review – long on computer but short on heart – I remember clay figures with a certain fondness.
The movie today is The Thousand Faces of Dunjia and, honestly, I leave little evidence that I saw the film. I couldn’t tell you who was in it. I couldn’t tell you the plot. I couldn’t tell you the motivation. The latter was the worst for me; there wasn’t a single scene in the film in which I could tell distinctly what any given character was trying to do. I’m sure there was a language barrier here. Just because a film contains subtitles doesn’t mean there is clarity.
This is my exact impression of this film:
“Normal” citizen: I see you have the idol of Long Duc Dong
“Bad” guy, I think: Challenge me, if you must
“Normal” citizen: That I will do!
“Bad” guy turns into dragon. Attacks. “Normal” guy picks up a stick and
exhibits a power neither shown nor hinted at for entire film. Thwarts dragon in one blow. CGI disappears.
Other “Normal” citizen: You have proven yourself worthy. You may now join us.
“Normal” citizen: I am so honored. Thank you. Now punch me in the chest.
Other “Normal” citizen punches “Normal” citizen into the next county; everybody laughs.
The end.
Ummm, yeah. The film contained magic and deception, which will separate it from exactly zero Chinese CGI-laden films. Here, have a quote from the Dunjia website:
“[L]egendary director Yuen Wo Ping and writer/producer Tsui Hark breathe new life into the wuxia genre, weaving together fantasy, humor, and breathtaking martial arts action. Dao, a naïve young constable, discovers a secret society with supernatural abilities that has protected mankind for centuries. As he’s drawn into a power struggle within their ranks, they learn that an ancient creature with the power to destroy the world is rising – and it will take all of their powers combined to stop it.”
Wow, they thought a lot of this film. It both “breathed new life” and was “breathtaking” at the same time. Make up your mind, fellas. I liked the part where one-armed, one-legged dude gets a new arm and leg … it reminded me of Species. Can’t say much more than that.
And of course, there’s a sequel to come.
Not sure I owe these folks props
For some plotting that logic drops
A green screen nightmare
And lots of “I don’t care”
Next time, I want clay Cyclops
Not Rated, 113 Minutes
Director: Woo-Ping Yuen
Writer: Hark Tsui
Genre: Confusion
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Guessing a five-year-old with no sense of story structure
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Normal filmgoers
