Arm wrestling? Really? Didn’t Sly and the family Stallone usher a swift end years ago to whomever might have made this a thing? I feel like this is polio making a comeback thanks to anti-vaxxers. We all agreed, people. All of us. Everybody gets vaccinated. Nazis are bad people. Everybody ignores arm wrestling. This is common sense.
In the 20th century, the best role quiet strongman Mark (Dong-seok Ma) could hope for in the movies was henchman for a Bond villain. In that respect, one has to hand it to the producers of Champion. You guys went out and found an actor who otherwise would dream of grunting at Roger Moore a few times. So … kudos. On the other hand, you made a movie about arm wrestling.
Being quiet, honest, and hard-working, Mark has attracted one of those guys who always needs bailing out. His buddy Jin-Ki (Kwon Yul) is a schemer. The movie opens with him getting Mark booted from a bodyguard job because he pitted his giant pal against the owner (Mark’s boss !?) of the nightclub in a wager. Weeks later, the big South Korean arm wrestling gala is happening and we’re all gettin’ jinki with it. Jin-Ki has not only set up Mark to compete, but has made a side interaction with the local underworld boss to throw some matches for fun and profit. I kept wondering when Mark was going to rip Jin-Ki half (as Juggernaut does to Deadpool) and take a plane home.
Mark doesn’t, of course. For one, he’s a gentle giant. For another, he has a long-lost half-sister to stalk. He ends up friending his niece and nephew before revealing himself to the sister; this relationship comes off like one of those classic Japanese horror films where the kids befriend Gamera or something. Unfortunately, these derivative moments are indeed the best parts of the film.
Despite early round opponents of Dudley “Booger” Dawson and Bob “Jungle Death” Gerrard, Champion knows
it’s fighting an uphill battle with the subject matter. The film seems Hell-bent on assuring the audience that Mark is an athlete. Um, sure. I’ll go with that. He’s an athlete the way the place kicker is a football player, the spelling bee champ is an intellectual, and the post office represents socialism. It’s not that it’s incorrect … it just needs a little qualification.
I can’t take any arm wrestling movie seriously. Even when you drag out the monster Mark has to defeat for pride, family, and the integrity of South Korea, it still seems …. silly. Spit-balling here, but doncha think the villain should be North Korean? I suppose it doesn’t matter; I wouldn’t want to lock wrists with a hardened sadistic criminal, but then, what’s the worst that can happen? Maybe it’s best I don’t know. Suffice to say, the heroism and villainy here is Over the Top.
Locking wrists is a sport for the brave
Integrity is in your hands to save
No backwards hat
What’s up with that?
Stallone must be rolling in his grave
Not Rated, 108 Minutes
Director: Yong-Wan Kim
Writer: Yong-Wan Kim
Genre: “Sport”
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Sylvester Stallone
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Not Sylvester Stallone
