When I was a teen, I hosted some friends for a screening of the 1933 Marx Brothers classic, Duck Soup. Unfortunately, we all had a thing and I had to cut the film short by about twenty minutes and then relayed the rest of the film orally as we walked out the door. Even though plot is little more than an afterthought in a Marx Brothers film, none of my friends pleased with conclusion-by-mouth. Can’t say as I blame them.
Now what has that got to do with some sort of English Creepshow revival? The inner stories in this collection go straight from climax to next film. The short films lead us right up the scariest moment and then *poof* you’re done. Wait. Wait. What happened? How did they escape?
There are actually four Ghost Stories collected in this film. The overarching guide to three vaguely relevant distractions is first-rate debunker and second-rate prat Professor Goodman (writer/director Andy Nyman). The Prof interrupts a miracle stage revival show while the God-talking conman is doing his act. I’m not sure who that helps – the people at these things want to be conned, not unlike the way many voters want to be lied to. Exposing the fraud doesn’t actually solve any problems … and now you’ve ruined the show, jerk.
Back in his office, Professor Goodman gets a package leading him to his con-spotting guru and some awkward conversation which serves an as excuse to get us into a trio of inexplicable spooky sub-stories. The premise is Prof. Goodman has to investigate these “genuine” tales of afterlife intervention so that he might understand his own life. Yeah, yeah, offer up that plot if you must; we all know what’s going on here – you made up some scary stories, but couldn’t figure out how to tie them together, so you let one of the characters serve as reluctant guide by investigating the following:
- Warehouse night guard Tony Matthews (Paul Whitehouse) has an encounter with what appears to be one of the twins in The Shining.
- Anxious teen Simon Rifkind (Alex Lawther) has a drive alone after a late night party and hits something that ain’t exactly an animal and ain’t exactly a man, either.
- Well-to-do middle-aged father-to-be Mike Priddle (Martin Freeman) skips the birth of his first and only child (why?!) so that he can play house with a supernatural nanny.
Ok, here’s the thing – all of these stories are narrated by the people who lived them, so eliminating the “how did you escape?” portion of the tale serves as a great big cheat. We know he escaped, because, well, there he is telling us about it. You have three inner stories which all play like Clarice Starling has just ID’ed Jame Gumb and then … the end.
The overarching fourth tale is intended to wrap up neatly and (partially) explain why the bizarre editing choice, but I don’t buy it. Clever as the last twenty minutes of
film was, Ghost Stories still feels like Jeremy Dyson and Andy Nyman aren’t very good at telling stories. For something of a Creepshow revisitation, this becomes the horror version of “Seinfeld’s” “yada yada yada,” and there you go.
I feel almost embarrassed by the lack of the supernatural in my life; all these dudes having visions. I seem to have very little genuine horror attached to me persona … well, except for the douche in the White House and all his enablers, of course. Perhaps I should just be thankful not to get that call from the ghosts of pans past, present, and future. In any case, Ghost Stories has some decent scares and a worthwhile supernarrative but as the inner stories all left me empty, I’m going to recommend a pass.
Horror, that grand institution
Towards emotional revolution
For writers, contrary
Nothing’s quite as scary
As skimping on the resolution
Not Rated, 98 Minutes
Director: Jeremy Dyson, Andy Nyman
Writer: Jeremy Dyson, Andy Nyman
Genre: Creepshow is back?
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Horror junkies
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Plot junkies
