Want to hear my Hufflepuff commons entrance verification quiz? It goes something like this:
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Hufflepuff.”
“Right, you’re in.”
Ah, Hufflepuff. Even in a tribute to the kids who put the doormat in dormitory, I can’t help scoring off Hufflelame. Forgive me, Puffs. There is nothing wrong with Hufflehouse and here’s the impossible-to-find tribute that proves it.
Puffs: Filmed Live Off Broadway or, simply Puffs is not a movie, per se, but a filming of the Puffs live stage show in which the Harry Potter years are retold through the eyes of Hogwarts’ least envied house. Like Harry, Ron, and Hermione, the Hufflepuffs, too, (apparently) mirrored the Gryffindor cadre with a trio of underachieving pals: New Mexican orphan nerd Wayne (Zac Moon), the nerdier Jersey-ite Oliver (Langston Belton), and the goth Slytherin wannabe Megan (Julie Ann Earls). No, they didn’t exactly form a lifelong bond after fighting a troll
off in the dungeons their first year, but they did recognize that lame friendship is better than no friendship, and they all conveniently overlook the fact that “11-year-old” Wayne is balding and has a beer gut.
I dunno how much copyright infringement Puffs encountered, but there are Potterworld names and words the play never says, yet hints at constantly. It’s all one big joke. You will understand with ease if you have read the Harry Potter series at any point in your life. For instance, the rival houses are: The Braves (Gryffindor), The Smarts (Ravenclaw), and The People-who-always-look-like-they’re-about-to-throw-a-glass-of-white-wine-in-your-face (Slytherin). The Puffs may not consist of The Braves or The Smarts or the White-whiners, but they’re a plucky and tight-knit bunch. Their constant patter of “yay us!” and cheers for “anything but last!” come across as so aggressively modest, so pathetically unambitious, that it is impossible not to be a Hufflepuff for an evening.
The Puffs production seems to have been financed with the proceeds from a motel garage sale and outfitted/decorated with the stuff that didn’t sell. Don’t be turned off; this is part of the charm. When you tell a Gryffindor story, sure, you get CGI Magic and several knighted actors to show up. When you tell a Hufflepuff story, you get thread tied to dumpster props and actors with day jobs at Taco Bell. One of the running gags is Wayne showing up each “new year” and donning a kitschy t-shirt custom-made for Hufflewear, like a 90s X-Men t-shirt with a yellow & black badger head superimposed over Wolverine.
If you hadn’t guessed, this particular play is not unlike Tom Stoppard’s Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, in which the Hamlet saga plays in the background while the adventures of two minor idiots are brought front and center. In Puffs, the world of Harry Potter is backdrop while we focus on Puff concerns; sometimes the two overlap and sometimes they do not. One complaint I had with the play is that the tone switches all over the place. As J.K. Rowling’s books grow more and more somber with the impending threat of fascism, so too Puffs has to jump in and out between being above –or in this case, beneath- the threats to Hogwarts/Harry Potter and then being thrust into them all the same later on.
The best known Hufflepuff is, of course, Cedric Diggory (just “Cedric” or “Ceddy” here, thank you). Ceddy’s popularity demonstrates the unlimited amount of fun the production has riffing off the Harry Potter world. For instance, Cedric is introduced at the Tri-Wizard Tournament as, “You know him; you love him … a prefect in the streets, but a seeker in the sheets, Cedric!” Cedric (the ever-optimistic James Fouhey) dies in book four, of course, right after promising that he’d make Wayne a better wizard once he finished up with the Tournament. This is initially hilarious as the inept Wayne can barely summon a shoelace for five books, but kinda loses its steam once actual characters have to be killed off.
And you just cannot believe exactly how many named people there are in the Harry Potter world. The Puffs cast
employs a mere ten actors, so many take on dual roles. Fouhey, for instance becomes “Voldy” after essentially having killed himself. This can get confusing. You just know that when pigtailed Madeline Bundy shows up in a yellow scarf, she’s the Puff named “Susie,” but when she wears glasses and carries with her a pink mop (Ron) and a Rasta table lamp (Hermione), she’s Harry Potter. You’ll get it if you see it, but that should demonstrate exactly what kind of budget these kids have.
I won’t say this is best night of theater I’ve ever beheld, but Puffs was certainly enjoyable for all you Potterheads out there. And, who knows? Like me, you might just feel a pang of remorse after all that for bagging on the loyal, noble, and inspirational house of Hufflepuff. Oh, and you’ve seen this, right?
♪ Puffs, the magic rag-on live quietly
And frolic in their ranks dismissed and strive for number three
Little Harry Potter knew not any Puff
He’d board that train, found Draco pain, and aligned with Ron and stuff♫
Not Rated, 110 Minutes
Director: Kristin McCarthy Parker
Writer: Matt Cox
Genre: The other Hogwarts
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Potterheads
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: If you don’t know the world of Harry Potter, half the jokes will be completely lost on you
♪ Parody Inspired by “Puff”
