It’s BIG! It’s small! It’s HUGE! It’s microscopic! It’s there! It’s not! We’re used to the Marvel world redefining superheroism within the confines of our reality, but the Ant-Man franchise has prompted Marvel to redefine reality through the superhero genre. It’s subtle; bottom line is: turn off the part of your brain that thinks critically and Ant-Man and the Wasp will suit you just fine.
When Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) puts on the Ant-Man suit, he mostly has the power to be really big or really small at will; the effect is instantaneous with no apparent side-effects – well, when he gets giant-sized large, he loses energy fast … like a Samsung phone over two weeks of age. Other than that *Poof* I’m big. *Poof* I’m small … like a vampire in a Bugs Bunny cartoon. The heart of the Ant-Man pictures is about turning things big and small at will. Dr. Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) has a Hot Wheels case he lugs around containing a dozen cars waiting to be embiggened and employed at will. He also has a mobile lab that instantly goes from full-size office building to travel suitcase. Convenient, huh? More convenient? Things weigh exactly what they ought to, big or small. That’s quite a trick, huh? Shrinking a ten-story building with the mass and volume of a small city block into a portable stow-away a small child could heft. Science!
In this edition of F-ANT-astic Beasts ant Where to Find Them, Scott is attached to an ankle bracelet from breaking parole for Avengerfest ‘16, woo! Now, you might remember from the first Ant-Man that Dr. Pym’s wife became the incredible shrinking woman and stayed that way, lost to the world forever. Yeah, funny thing, turns out the doc was married to Michelle Pfeiffer, so you know she’s coming back at some point … it’s Michelle Pfeiffer. And she breaks up Scott’s home-confinement bath-time to plant a thirty year old memory of playing hide-and-seek with her own daughter, Hope (Evangeline Lilly). How is a woman lost for thirty years to the microscopic nanoverse able to plant a message in Scott’s brain? Science!
Naturally, mom needs to be rescued NOW! So Scott’s gonna have to break parole. Oh, and did I mention grown-up Hope has the same “big/small/big/small” powers just like Scott when she becomes The Wasp? It’s darn useful when she has to battle Walton Goggins and his team of goggoons, but less so when encountering Ghost (Hannah John-Kamen), a woman who can assume solid or gaseous form at will. How is that possible? Science!
What does one do with all this science? Make salt shakers and Pez dispensers giant bad-guy impediments on command, of course. It’s all great fun. I’m not sure where the all-Morrissey juke box fits in (most depressing diner ever), but that’s worth several snickers as well. In fact, the biggest problem with Ant-Man and the Wasp is the default to glib. Now, look, no one appreciates more the power of glib than I. Anyone who’s read more than two of my reviews knows I can cheapen anything with an inappropriately light tone of voice. But that doesn’t mean it’s always a good idea. Take, for instance, that hide-and-seek dream sequence:
Scott has an implanted memory of a game he never played. He describes it to Hope and Dr. Pym, who immediately recognize the potential significance and quiz him on it:
“Was the girl hiding in a wardrobe?”
“No. It was like an upright dresser.”
(*forehead slap, audience giggle*)
Later in the 
conversation, Hope asks, “Were there horses on the wardrobe?”
“Yes.”
Then Evangeline Lilly goes in wistful acting mode, summoning up a cherished amalgam of time shared with her long-lost mother, talking to herself, but saying aloud something to the effect of, “When we played hide-and-seek, I’d always hide there…”
At which point, Scott comments, “You didn’t really get the gist of the game.”
This is possibly the funniest line of the movie year (for me, at least), but entirely inappropriate. I feel like the Ant-Men took a good look at how well Thor: Ragnarok and Spider-Man: Homecoming used to humor to diffuse tension or simply add to general reverie and decided to do the same, but didn’t quite have the feel for when to do so. That and whatever magic science is being pretended in this film will keep Ant-Man and the Wasp from my top-10 list of 2018. However, my enjoyment of said film was hardly destroyed by such pettiness and, in turn, Marvel continues its extended march towards owning our lives in full.
♪Sometimes it’s hard to be an insect
Giving all your grub to just one queen
He’ll have feelers
Of less appealers
And then he shrinks without being seen
But if you need him you’ll suit with him
Even though he’s stuck upside a plant
Yeah, he’s a moron, but never borin’
‘Cuz, after all, he’s just a Mant
Stand by your Mant
Give him six legs to cling to
And pheromones to come through
When trails are cold and lonely
Stand by your Mant
And show up when he comes to
Ignore the science, ‘less you can’t
Stand by your Mant♫
Rated PG-13, 118 Minutes
Director: Peyton Reed
Writer: Chris McKenna & Erik Sommers and Paul Rudd & Andrew Barrer & Gabriel Ferrari
Genre: Superheroism where rules no longer apply
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Escapists
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Scientists
♪ Parody Inspired by “Stand by Your Man”
