I don’t think the producers here set out to make a pretentious film, cuz first, why would you? And second, I’m not sure you could make a more pretentious film if you actually tried. Which is not to say there aren’t more pretentious films, just that I’m pretty sure nobody sets out to make a pretentious film. Well, almost kinda sorta maybe pretty sure. Clouds of Sils Maria is distraction-level pretentious where anything peripheral in the room you’re viewing in can prove more worthy of your attention than the two women acting at you. I beg future viewers that if you must see Clouds of Sils Maria, do it in a completely sterile environment – no cell phone, no books, not even wallpaper; to truly appreciate this film, you have to be with the film at all times and –believe me- that isn’t going to be easy.
I can’t fault the cinematographer or set locater; at times, Clouds is a near breathtaking backdrop for this pair to yammer on about art interpretation. Aging actress Maria Enders (Juliette Binoche) trains to Zurich to collect an award on behalf of a colleague only to learn when she gets there that the guy has committed suicide. Well, gee, that was kinda dickish, huh? Not only sending Maria to fetch your award, but sticking her with a eulogy for an acceptance speech. WTF?! Turns out none of that is important. What is important is that she and her personal assistant Valentine (Kristen Stewart) talk about roles and interpretive acting at length.
At the Zurich wrap party, Maria gets a private invite with noted stage director Klaus (Lars Eidinger). It’s a big fancy Euro-shindig and dude literally gets his own private room to operate … who are you? Again, that’s not important. What is important is that we talk about the play Klaus asks Maria to be part of. It’s called “Mojado Snake,” written by the guy who died and set in the place where he lived. It’s about a lesbian May/September romance. As a teen, Maria got her big break playing the younger role of Sigrid; now, she is to play the older role of Helena. And, get this, to prepare for the part, she and her own personal ingénue are going to live alone by themselves in the dead guy’s house.
You get this, right? Some notable playwright’s magnum opus is about a talkative lesbian relationship between a teenager and somebody old enough to be her mom. It takes place in the chalet and grounds outside his personal Alp. Then the guy commits suicide, the play gets revived, and the starring actress who knows both parts intimately gets invited to live in the house where the play was written while the new widow clears out for … reasons. Oh, and check it out; this fiftysomething woman is going to rehearse constantly with her assistant, a woman young enough to be her daughter, while they hint about how their own ill-defined relationship parallels the one in text.
So what these women do is talk and talk and talk all day long about the motivations of the Sigrid and Helena while we the audience catch on
(wink, wink) that the fires are being stoked for their own potential lesbian relationship. The best parts of the film are when the two rehearse lines and suddenly we cannot tell the difference between the written word and the feelings these two actually have for one another. The film knows this the best bit and so goes with it at least four or five times.
I’ve always liked Juliette Binoche (what’s not to like?) and as long as Kristen Stewart isn’t mopey about werewolves or vampires, I’m happy to have her around. That said, Clouds of Sils Maria feels like it was so busy making a statement that they forgot to make a movie. Miles of talk are matched by inches of action. I’m sure this thing is a huge hit with people who love to talk about role interpretation and symbolism and motivation and all sorts of other play crap, but I’m not that guy. Also there’s a moment 90% through the movie where something major happens (or doesn’t happen as the case may be) which is neither explained nor referred to for the rest of the film. Again, I’m sure that plays great to certain crowds; I’m not that crowd. The whole thing feels like the kind of Eurocrap we make fun of to justify a good Bruce Willis shoot ‘em up. Believe me, you’ll be happier with Bruce after Clouds of Sils Maria.
When I read this title aloud
It’s less airy and more of a shroud
Does it mean troubles?
Or cartoon-word bubbles?
Is that what they meant by “Cloud?”
Rated R, 124 Minutes
Director: Olivier Assayas
Writer: Olivier Assayas
Genre: Careful, something almost happened
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Acting purists
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Entertainment hounds
