Oh no! When did Meryl Streep die? Wait. What’s that? “Not really dead,” you say? Just dead in the film. OK. Look, movie, if you were all hot to move past an original cast member, couldn’t you let it be Pierce Brosnan? He almost ruined Mamma Mia! by himself.
Both prequel and sequel, Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again returned to Greek island living where there is nothing but singing, dancing, and necessities that apparently pay for themselves. In this episode, we learn how young Donna came to exploit the masses better than a capitalist in a Karl Marx dialectic. It’s all good because there’s more wall-to-wall ABBA to help us fight through Donna’s pain.
Obviously, the film couldn’t unearth all of the previous ABBA songs; many 
of them had to be instrumentalized for down segments. And, uh oh, I think we’ve run almost the entire gamut of ABBA Gold. People will have to be exposed to ABBA B-sides. NO! And … as if to say, “Let’s get this over with,” the film took no time in sharing a song I’d never heard: “When I Kissed the Teacher.” In a graduation memory, Donna (Lily James) interrupts her own valedictorian speech –it’s ok, the speech was going nowhere anyway—to deliver, in costume no less, this particularly odd and almost relevant choice of song. And immediately on cue, her flunkees, the Donnuts or whatever, fling off their robes and join her on stage because graduation is nothing if not a celebration of impromptu covers. And when they grab the rest of the class and head outside mid-song, two thoughts rang in my head: 1) Dudes, you forgot to graduate! 2) Boy, it’s a good thing this trio wasn’t into Van Halen; now that might have been a genuinely awkward graduation number, rather than this EuroHigh School Musical.
Meanwhile, in another timeline, Donna’s adult daughter Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) has renovated the island resort her mom abused for many years. Will all of her three dads show up for the grand opening? Only if this is a movie. Oh, wait. It is. I thought Sophie’s over-the-top melodrama kinda bugged me, but she has nothing on young Donna. I suppose there are a number of things about this film that bug me from Andy Garcia’s obsequious melancholic to the number of times the screenplay requires a song to illustrate a broken heart. On the latter, I lost count at a dozen. But that’s all nit-picking; the point of this film is to get people singing, dancing, celebrating, and sympathizing. It all worked except I had a lot of trouble with the last part:
The bulk of this movie takes us from college Donna to single-mother-on-a-Greek-island Donna … it turns out that college Donna was easier than UNLV’s summer program. Her deli-counter romance experience (“Next!”) immediately put me in mind of the SNL sketch where MC Hammer plays Wilt Chamberlain. I love her third romance: Donna enjoys herself to three different men within a span of 24 hours, but young Sam (Jeremy Irvine), the tail-end of the tail, is a jerk for having a girlfriend Donna didn’t know about. Oh. That’s how this is gonna go, huh? And Donna’s doting entourage won’t even get the manmeat table scraps. Oh. And after the men, young Donna effectively says, “I like this island; I’m staying here rent free and raising my child.” Oh.
It’s good work if you can get it.
I suppose it’s not like the original Mamma Mia! was a testimony to perfection, either. This is probably the closest western film comes to Bollywood … which isn’t a bad thing. As I probably have said many times, you can’t hate a film in which people break into 
song for no reason. Well, unless the music is bad, which it isn’t. Also on the plus side of the ledger: Pierce Brosnan’s voice was used sparingly and Amanda Seyfried has clearly worked on her game in the past decade. Cher is wrong for ABBA. And if you hate Cher, which is so common to so many, Act III will claim your last bit of patience. The funny thing? Cher was in reserve for most of the film and I kept thinking, “You know, of all the cast members, I’m pretty sure Cher was the only one with a genuine gold record.” Am I wrong? Yeah, I’m not sure how that justifies a duet of “Fernando” with Andy Garcia – and -for the sake of my own sanity- somebody please tell me what battle caused refugees to cross the Rio Grande in 1959 (the lyrics of “Fernando,” sung as if historic).
Aside from a cute table stunt involving Julie Walters, the film choreography wasn’t wonderful, either. So … I frown on the story, the lead, the endless moping, the “history lesson,” the dancing, the ridiculous cameos, and the fact that I didn’t love the first one a decade ago. But, you know what? It’s a musical. It’s fun. If you go for a show, there will be one present. Enjoy.
♪Tried to indulge my lascivious habit
Makin’ with a stranger each day
Losin’ face without grace as I exit this place
Find another monkey at the inn on holiday
But at night I’d claim this land of my dreams
Fulfilling a sensual feat
Not any Bill, Hank, or Sammy that I did meet
Could ever satisfy my self-earned treat
Freeloader in paradise
Taking advantage of no one’s advice
Check out these digs, well hey, that’s nice
(I’m just a) freeloader in paradise♫
Rated PG-13, 114 Minutes
Director: Ol Parker
Writer: Ol Parker
Genre: ABBA B-sides
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: ABBA-holics
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Do you hate musicals? How about now?
♪ Parody Inspired by “Cheeseburger in Paradise”
