This message is clear: if you’re pretty and the camera loves you, Hollywood will give you repeated chances to overcome your self-imposed mediocrity. We’ve seen this time and time again with stars such as Tom Cruise, James Franco, Matthew McConaughey, and to a lesser extent Ryan Reynolds and Anne Hathaway among others. What am I talking about? I’ve seen half a dozen films starring Blake Lively, but I couldn’t tell you why she was employable until she owned A Simple Favor. Wow! I get it now. So let this be a wake-up call for pretty people who keep getting work despite underwhelming performances: there is still time for you, Zac Efron, Megan Fox, Selena Gomez, et al … stay attractive and keep working; it’s not too late to figure out this acting thing.
Are you ready for SteelFrogVLOG?! No? Neither am I. And it should be obvious by now I am communicating the wrong way. I’ll clarify – I am communicating the wrong way if all I care about is my following. Boy, it’s a good thing I don’t care about you guys, cuz otherwise you might miss out on the magic of amateur publishing. Type A single mom Stephanie (Anna Kendrick) has a VLOG which –I imagine- started as a distraction from the pain of life and soon became a habit. Now, several times a week, she pelts mom groups with self-produced on-line videos of recipes, craft projects, and personal updates. When not indulging in videography, she’s the kind of mom who questions why other parents wouldn’t own a helium tank for emergency birthday party decorations. As a teacher, I think I’d find her a busy-body. As a fellow parent, however, I welcome the peer who wants to take all the classroom chores. You want to bring a piñata, bake gluten-free-nut-free-taste-free snacks for twenty-five kids, and clean up afterwards? Go for it, babe. Junior and I will enjoy some QT together while you do.
Emily (Lively) is the kind of woman who owns a walk-in closet with its own zip code. And yet, I am amazed she owns any shelf space at all because I can’t see her wearing the same outfit twice. Ever. A marketing executive for a fashion design company, her idea of a post-school dream involves sticking the kid anywhere while she enjoys a quality martini and perhaps some afternoon delight. I cannot stress enough that Blake Lively is Emily. She is the fancy-pants, intimidating-yet-charismatic, shrewd, high-power, my-child-is-an-afterthought, martini mom. Emily seems unapproachable when their collective boys ask for a playdate, but Stephanie fights through her squeamishness and is soon enjoying one of Emily’s martinis. Theirs is instantly an electric relationship – I suppose a different POV would chalk it up as girltalk, but there is a spark between the meek busybody and the confident recluse. In another movie, their relationship becomes sexual, which is not to say it wasn’t necessarily part of this relationship; there was just a lot of other ground to cover.
One day Emily requests A Simple Favor of Stephanie to collect her boy after school … and never returns to claim him. From a film lover’s vantage, I truly had mixed feelings about this – on the one hand, missing person is always a great plot, on the other, the Stephanie-Emily interplay was some of my favorite dialogue in 2018. Were there clues as to this disappearance? A claim of money issues from what looked like a very wealthy family … Emily’s overly hostile reaction to her photo being taken … an intimated
disapproval of her own life … was Emily’s disappearance forced or fabricated? So, Agatha High-C, what’s your next move? Your best friend disappears leaving you her son, her husband, her gorgeous house, her wardrobe, and her life. Are you content to climb back up that rabbit hole, Alice?
I would be remiss in not also pointing out this is the first time I’ve enjoyed Linda Cardellini since “Freaks & Geeks.” I’m currently looking up Paul Feig to see his record on getting good performances; hmmm, while his portfolio (Bridesmaids, The Heat, Spy) is hit-and-miss, I’d argue no one has gotten better work out of Melissa McCarthy, Rose Byrne, or Kristen Wiig. Women of Hollywood, if you want elongated careers, you might seek out Paul Feig for your next project. As for A Simple Favor – this is one of my favorite popcorn films of 2018. I hope Blake Lively gets the nomination she richly deserves for this role and, I daresay, I hope to see more of her in the future. A week ago, I would have slapped anyone who made such a silly statement.
Sure, I can watch your child
I know your work can be a little wild
Of course, there’s no need for worry
You don’t need to be in a hurry
The kids might want naps after school
I find whiskey keeps it all cool
After some gleaming the cube
We’ll pull off a stunt for YouTube
I’ll treat your son like my own
As we play tag on streets unknown
I like it when he calls me “ma’am”
When I draw the pentagram
Do know I punish out of spite,
You are coming back to him, right?
Rated R, 117 Minutes
Director: Paul Feig
Writer: Jessica Sharzer
Genre: Bad Moms, like for real and stuff
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: Bad Moms
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: The children of Bad Moms
