Perhaps I just don’t have the dragonballz to appreciate this film properly. Or perhaps we just got off on the wrong foot/hoof/paw/tentacle/space grappler; as I don’t understand any of it, I’m going to try to be fair. Just know I’m coming from a perspective of someone who knows nothing of the Dragon Ball Zenre.
It didn’t help that the movie started late … and it started in the middle … and without sound. I still don’t have the first idea exactly what “Dragon Ball Z” is — Is it a game? An orb? A scepter? A dessert topping?– but whatever it is becomes that much more confusing without sound. Here were the first impressions of what I saw: so there’s these three guys all built like they live at the gym. One looks like the human equivalent of Sonic the Hedgehog, a second looks like superbuff Caine from “Kung Fu,” and the third is clearly a bad guy cuz he looks like El Chapo. It is just a matter of time before fighting happens; in fact I have no idea what they’re waiting for. Turns out the trio are –in Sonic, Caine, El Chapo order- the good ‘n’ daft Gokû (voice of Masako Nozawa), the film’s nemesis Broly (Bin Shimada), and Broly’s handler Paragus (Iemasa Kayumi). This is a good one – Broly is all-powerful destroyer of galaxies and has a Jones for Gokû blood because the latter kept crying when they were infants in the hospital together. Geez, grudge much?
The movie had to restart before I could figure any of this out. Turns out Gokû and Mrs. Gokû are “normal” Earth dwellers … well, except for the part where Gokû is kind of a lovable dumbass who can’t figure out how humans work, not actually being one. The pair stand in line attempting to get Gokû, Jr. into some fancy prep school. Oh, is this where “Dragon Ball” comes in, right? Is it Zee academy of record? Gokû can’t get his bullshit answers out before the universe tags him on speed dial and he disappears during the interview.
The emergency turns out to be a galaxy destroyer of some kind and Gokû, the most powerful idiot in the universe has to help, but first the movie needs to introduce seventeen other combative characters who are taking time away from their usual bloodlust to have a picnic. As far as I can tell, Dragon Ball Z describes the misadventures of a large group of semi-superheroes with ill-defined powers and personality disorders. To a person, I swear, they’re all just waiting to blast some opponent with an atomic wedgie or whatever they have in their arsenal. The only way I could tell the most powerful among them is by how built they are when they’re shirtless and, believe me, the “male” characters all get shirtless eventually; the camera’s favorite trick is to do a slow pan from ground up so we can admire beefcake before we acknowledge the character being described.
One of the true problems I had with Dragon Ball Z: Broly – The Legendary Super Saiyan is not knowing the intention of the director. I seemed to be laughing at all the wrong times vs. other patrons. For instance, 
when Gokû and Broly first meet in the film, the taciturn Broly opens his mouth just enough to give Gokû an “I’ll destroy you” threat and Gokû responds with a nonchalant “ok.” This is funny, right? An overreaction deliberately countered with an underreaction. My colleagues thought otherwise; similarly, they found humor where I didn’t, like when the film makes a character sing for minutes beyond the enjoyable stage to pad runtime. It’s possible I might have found the excess humorous if I knew the character, but I don’t.
Hence, I can only recommend this film to the league of Dragon Ballers or whatever you might call yourselves; y’know what I’m Saiyin’? This world is a tad sexist and violent for my tastes, but mostly seems to take years to comprehend completely. This could well be genius material if I knew the players, but I’m never going to get there.
I see you have much to display
With dozens ready for the fray
Yet the constant battle cry
Left confusion, wishing I
Had started at Dragon Ball “A”
Rated TV-PG, 72 Minutes
Director: Shigeyasu Yamauchi
Writer: Takao Koyama
Genre: Saving the Universe, one cel at a time
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: 8-year-old-aspiring-super-heroes
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Anyone capable of being confused
