Naked Lunch had no nudity. Neither did any Naked Gun film. Naturally, Juliet, Naked followed (anything-but-birthday) suit. Eventually, people are going to tire of false advertising. The “Naked” in this title is more a synonym of raw than exposed. As in there was an album entitled “Juliet” and “Juliet, Naked” is the pre-album demo tape. Now, we sorta knew this going in … but given the R-rating (language), this is kind of film that exists to psych out unwitting teens – or used to be, at least. The internet has destroyed most of the “boys sneaking into adult films” pastime. I’m not sure how I feel about that.
Annie (Rose Byrne) and Duncan (Chris O’Dowd) are either a stagnant couple or a having a mini Bridesmaids reunion. Annie laments the relationship bait-and-switch: “it used to be about me …” For years, however, Duncan has been obsessed with reclusive and retired American musician Tucker Crowe (Ethan Hawke). Obsessed doesn’t begin to describe it; his man-cave has a Tucker shrine; he has a blog and vlog and a chat group all devoted to the discussion of Tucker’s music, Tucker’s influences, and Tucker rumors – all this for an artist who made one album and quit music over 20 years ago.
Anyone weirded out by Hawke playing a guy name Crowe? [A murder of Ethans?] I’m stretching my limited knowledge of bird species to come up with more human surnames where you just add an “e” to the end of something avian. Finch, Dove, Wren, Bird, et al are fairly common last names, but Finche, Dovee, Wrene, Birde are not. The only one I can think of that fits bill, so-to-speak, is Falcone.
One day, a CD entitled “Juliet, Naked” arrives in the mail. The CD is as described above, a raw demo collection of the songs which will eventually become Tucker’s masterpiece onlypiece, “Juliet.” Predictably, Duncan finds this particular piece of art the seminal find of the western world, akin to the Rosetta Stone, the Tomb of King Tutankhamen, or Trump’s Pee Tape. Annie disagrees and, inspired by Duncan’s pigheadedness, critiques the work in public on Duncan’s blog … and Tucker Crowe himself responds to her. It’s not every day you get a conversation with a celebrity, albeit a faded, obscure, and deliberately reclusive one.
Juliet, Naked wended the Notting Hill path for a bit, but decided it wasn’t up to the level of humor or conflict Notting Hill brought to the recording session. Instead it told minor jokes, the kind where you smile waiting for a punchline and say to yourself, “I guess that’s it then.” And when that phase was complete, it took to describing the Tucker milieu of chaos in contrast with Annie’s life of reservation. Juliet, Naked is precisely about comparing the road not taken to the road where there’s a new self-constructed obstacle every 200 feet. Which is better, Crowe’s life of action and irresponsibility and influencing lives you’ve never met –some you really should have met-, or the one where you run a tiny museum and nothing ever happens?
This film isn’t going to make any careers, break any new ground, or be remembered as anything but a second tier film in any of three fairly notable careers. It was enjoyable enough mostly because it’s difficult to dislike Byrne, O’Dowd, Hawke, or the youngster Crowe drags around England (Azhy Robertson); that’s enough for me to recommend the film and little more. Given the subject matter, I would have hoped for a better soundtrack; as is, we’re just supposed to assume the original Juliet album was a winner without much evidence. Fans of music in movies are much better off with Hearts Beat Loud or Crazy Rich Asians or Blindspotting or at least half a dozen other films this year, which is a tad embarrassing given the plot of the film.
A Yank of rock fame isn’t able
To keep his life separate from fable
While addressing his past
He finds problems vast
At least he can get a new label
Rated R, 105 Minutes
Director: Jesse Peretz
Writer: Evgenia Peretz, Jim Taylor & Tamama Jenkins
Genre: My boyfriend’s obsession
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: People stuck in a rut
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: If you didn’t like Notting Hill, this ain’t gonna do much for ya.
