You’ll never see a less funny movie listed as a comedy. Never. For a film with a seemingly amusing trailer and an obviously comic title, The Sisters Brothers was every bit as hilarious as a funeral procession. I suppose I smirked once or twice, but each smile was subsequently defeated by a harsher reality. That’s not to say The Sisters Brothers was poor, necessarily; there was simply an element of false advertising here that gnawed on my pant leg for about two hours. By the time the film ended, I was wearing shorts.
Eli Sisters (John C. Reilly) and Charlie Sisters (Joaquin Phoenix) are personal enforcers in 1850 Oregon territory. Their boss wants somebody dead and The Sisters Brothers make it happen, no questions asked. Charlie is the impulsive one – quick to temper, quick to draw; it’s a wonder and a cheat that he doesn’t have more scars. The elder, Eli, is the steadier of the two; he only kills on order … or in self-defense … or to protect his brother … or, you know, cuz they earn it. How did these guys get to middle age, anyway?
Hermann Kermit Warm (Riz Ahmed) is the mark. Hermann Kermit Warm is not a name, of course, but some sort of secret muppet code. Anyway, Hermann has a new system of finding gold in small streams. Gold, of course, was all the rage when discovered at Sutter’s Mill in nearby California two years previous and has never been of any interest since. As the film progresses, it becomes increasingly clear that the Sisters’ employer holds no grudge against Hermann; he just wants to steal his patent. The other player here is the finder, John Morris (Jake Gyllenhaal). I guess he’s like a talent scout for executioners. Not being able to stomach the killin’ himself, he simply sends word that “he’s here” and waits for Hermann’s head hunters to arrive. They will eventually; how big could Oregon territory be?
The gold is just an excuse, of course. The Brothers Sisters or Sisters Brothers or Mothers Smothers Brothers Keepers is a buddy road picture where the two buddies are related and don’t get along. This film seemed to pride itself on authenticity of the setting with issues around clothing, hygiene, comfort, and light. OMG, light was an issue every other scene. This is the stuff that drives festival judges wild and film goers insane. I understand that you can’t see in the pitch dark. Neither can I. But sometimes I like knowing what’s happening, especially if I paid full ticket price, y’know?
I think this film was meant to be more existential than it came off – another reason why critics will spooge where regular entertainment seekers will shrink. As Charlie and Eli slowly realize their purpose has an evil root, they begin to question it and their general purpose in life. Ok, film, you’ve worked your way up to a poor man’s Unforgiven; if that did it for me, I’d be ecstatic. Did the milieu of the Sisters sit still? No, the Brothers bothered me;
How much you like this picture probably has a great deal to do with how much you dig either of the two leads or how enamored you are with the Old West. For me, I find none of it all that compelling and the lesson I take is “the Old West lacked for humor.” Shame, because there were clearly A Million Ways to Die in the West, and at the hands of The Sisters Brothers seems as likely a way to go as any other. I wish there were a better joke in there somewhere.
♪Pursuit is long
With many unplotted turns
That lead ‘em to God-knows-where
Oregon
They’re headstrong
Blinded by their career whim
They’re both heavies; they’re the brothers♫
Rated R, 121 Minutes
Director: Jacques Audiard
Writer: Jacques Audiard and Thomas Bidegain
Genre: Look everybody, a Western!
Type of being most likely to enjoy this film: People for the enduring legacy of John C. Reilly
Type of being least likely to enjoy this film: Those who don’t see well in the dark
♪ Parody Inspired by “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother”
