Since when do animated characters need acting lessons? I’m serious here. Several times in this version of The Grinch, I wanted to reach into the screen and do my own directing … “CUT! CUT! CUUUT!! Dude, what was that? You HATE these people. You HATE Christmas. You HATE Whoville. Let’s see it. If you don’t hate it, how can you have a change of heart? And how can we believe the change represents the magic of Christmas come to life?”
I know this is an animated film. I know this is the same studio that gave us adorable Minions. I know you want to sell this cartoon to li’l Christ-tots across the globe, but Gru at the beginning of Despicable Me makes a better Grinch than this Grinch.
For those five people in the Western Hemisphere who don’t actually know the Dr. Seuss work in question, gimme a sentence or three: Somewhere in the isolated arctic lies the hamlet of Whoville, a depressingly upbeat haven where all the citizens are into Christmas like their afterlives are on the line. This annoys the one non-Christian in the area, The Grinch, an emaciated second cousin of the Phillie Phanatic living atop the nearby mountain. He hates Christmas and the townspeople and so decides instead of having to endure one more round of this annual suckfest that he will, on Christmas Eve, deprive the entire town of every last tree, ornament, present, and baked goodie … and that will “stop” Christmas from coming.
The key to The Grinch (voice of Benedict Cumberbatch) is the understanding that we ALL are The Grinch from time-to-time. The holidays can be a maddening and desperate time replete with frustration. Am I a Grinch? Oh Hell yes, I am. One too many required pageants and choruses from my youth … one too many “I don’t know what to get for _____” … one too many Christmas with the Kranks or some such nonsense … To say the very least, I’m not always pleased with those who are full of … the season.
Hence, this Grinch did indeed strike my fancy on occasion, like when Grinch, reluctant-but-hungry, visits Whoville but is stalked by carolers. That’s good stuff. As is the indulgence in “Mold Spice” body spray or the fact that the furry green ogre wears a furry green suit atop his furry green body. Yet, for every three clever touches, I felt there were at least two detractions – for one thing, The Grinch only speaks in verse when echoing the narration. This is Seuss tale; the whole thing should be in verse, period. Then there’s also the modern update to “You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch.” I’m sorry, but Thurl Ravenscroft nailed this decades ago. I’m sorry the man is dead, but no Grinch theme should be without his voice.
For me, The Grinch is best summed up by his relationship with an obese reindeer he captures in order to emulate Santa Claus. The summit between Grinch and beast is thorny, then cute. Eventually, we have the Grinch sharing his bed with his dog Max and his double stuff Rudolph. That’s adorable. That’s heartwarming. But that’s not the classic Grinch, and if you think about it, you’ll see how much it undermines the theme of the tale. Grinch needs to be a villain so that he can see the light. Anything less cheats the revelation.
The Grinch represents one of the great frustrations with modern America. It’s popularity is rarely matched. Show me another tale as known countrywide household-to-household. You can probably count them on one hand, and I daresay none of the others are a purer advertisement for Christianity itself. Loving “How The Grinch Stole Christmas!” is akin to acknowledging the “magic” of Christianity – that the day, the belief, the faith is all about love. And counter to these thoughts is the throng of Fox-led idiots politicizing faith itself with their fabricated “War on Christmas.” The Grinch is prima facie evidence there is no War on Christmas. That’s just stupid. As for the film, it was entertaining without being good – i.e. it had the joy of the book without the spirit of the book, making it almost the exact opposite of the Ron Howard/Jim Carrey version so recently loathed.
♪You’re a soft one, Mr. Batch
You just don’t have the drear
You’re as angry as a puppy
You’re as hateful as a deer
Mr. Batch
Your Sherlock Holmes is still quite outstanding;
That should be entirely clear
You’re a kitten, Mr. Batch
Your heart betrays, alas!
Your acting, while outstanding
Denotes warmth beneath the class
Mr. Batch
Yeah, and my daughter insists your American accent as Dr. Strange …
Really sucks ass♫
Rated PG, 86 Minutes
Director: Yarrow Cheney, Scott Mosier
Writer: Michael LaSieur, Tommy Swerdlow
Genre: Christian propaganda
Person most likely to enjoy this film: Overly Christian parents of sensitive children
Person least likely to enjoy the film: Literally, the disciples of any.other.religion
♪ Parody Inspired by “You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch”
