Why do I always think abduction movies are going to be more exciting than they actually are? I suppose some are – the ones that are unbelievable, like where Halle Berry ends up chasing the kidnappers through three states. Then there are the ones like today’s film in which the responsible party is a mystery. Mysteries are supposed to be thrilling by themselves, but abductions tend not to be because the minute you reveal any insight into the identity of the kidnapper, the mystery ends, which is exactly the case in Everybody Knows.
Laura (Penélope Cruz) and Paco (Javier Bardem) are ex-lovers. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, Everybody Knows already. Laura and Paco grew up together but have long since gone about different lives. Laura decided to latch herself onto every single Pedro Almodóvar project she could find while Paco became a serial killer preferring a cattle stun gun. I kid. But seriously, doesn’t Bardem always creep you out just a little no matter whom he plays? Laura moved to Buenos Aires to do the family thing and has returned to Madrid for a wedding, a wedding hosted by Paco’s people, all vintners.
Well, yay, a wedding, and everything seems all nice and boring until the power goes out during the endless reception and then Laura’s daughter goes missing. It’s a small relief knowing that daughter-napping is not limited to Liam Neeson films. This is the part where the drama escalates significantly, which is great, but the film needed to spend more time on the whodunit? and less on the whopaysit?
Kidnappings tend not to be random things, am I right? The point is to get money and to get money you need to know two things: 1) Do they have money and 2) Do they care enough to pay it? Laura ain’t got money, which makes her an odd target for ransom. Everybody Knows this, too, right? So who’s gonna pay the enormous ransom, and who did this? You don’t need to be Hercule Poirot here to note that whomever did this had to have both opportunity and some inside info, right? You guys aren’t trying very hard.
Basically, this film hinges around Paco’s relationship to the missing girl. Is she or Laura important enough to him that he’d sell a vineyard to buy her freedom – all so they can sadly trot back to South America and never return? I was hoping for more thrilling and more whodunit, but I got a decent drama out of the deal. Sure, not every ransom can be handled by a guy with special set of skills, or a cattle stun gun, but some basic detective work might be nice. I return to the thought that the number of people who could guess this abduction was a Paco pressure point is limited. Then again, who knows?
There once was a woman from Madrid
Who was distraught when she lost her kid
Yet there is no trigger
Like counting on Chigurh
That’s when you know you’ve hit the skid
Rated R, 132 Minutes
Director: Asghar Fahardi
Writer: Asghar Fahardi
Genre: El ransom
Person most likely to enjoy this film: Psychological terrorists
Person least likely to enjoy the film: People who have lived through kidnappings
