I wonder if this is how Japanese people feel when they see a bad Western. There were no samurais or feudal period in America. Only Japan, truly, can make a samurai film. Well, Japan and Edward Zwick. :P So when Japan makes a bad one, you really want to cry, don’t you? The idea of samurais on film is so cool, Barenaked Ladies sings about it. Don’t blow this.
*sigh*
It was the days when random samurai roamed the Japanese islands like Canadian geese. Some random hair-challenged and well-armed badass would show up in your town doing a busker routine that involved swordplay, impromptu lessons, or general baddie rousting. The main random samurai (Sôsuke Ikematsu) in this film spends his days trouncing a kid opponent. (I think this is the “lessons” part, but it could just be he likes beating on a weaker opponent; as samurais betray no emotion, who’s to say whether or not there’s enjoyment in the daily thrashings.) It is just a matter of time before the samurai must return to Edo (currently known as Cleveland) to molt and nest for the winter.
So dude and his sword pal are horsing around when out from nowhere comes the film’s writer, director, co-star, and veteran samurai, Shin’ya Tsukamoto, havin’ a duel. It should be noted at this time that in a film precisely entitled Killing, 100% of the actual killing happens off-screen. This duel is no different, five minutes after doing the shadow pacing thing, a blow is finally offered. It splits the skin in-between second and third knuckles on opponent’s right hand, little more than a flesh wound but renders his swordplay useless. We are to guess the remainder of the scene after the cutaway. Suffice to say, the director shows up thirty seconds later.
“You’re on the way to Edo for the big jamboree? Hey, me too. Let’s team up. In fact, I’m looking to create my own superfriends thing and all I got is me; what say you and your hapless sparring partner join in
my fun?” This doesn’t sit well with the sister of cannon-fodder (Yû Aoi), and only gets worse when the little punk gets all up in himself and aggravates a group of roving ne’er-do-wells. If you think you’re ever gonna see Edo in this pic, think again.
Here’s a hint – if you read the words “well-made” in the first line of a review, the film was dull. Really dull. Killing seemed to be fascinated with the parts of a samurai’s life which were far from noble, like illness and revenge. The swordplay was mostly Sôsuke Ikematsu and the kid, who used wooden swords and the kid always lost badly. Yû Aoi seemed present because the film had a minimal female quota. Her POV is considered and discarded on a regular basis. I didn’t feel much but disappointment for Killing which –despite promise- was soft on killing, swordplay, and samurai-ology in the round.
Oh, and at some point, somebody is going to have to explain the difference to me between “ronin” and “masterless samurai.”
A roaming samurai is a creature in doubt
He doesn’t tell you what that’s all about
Have sword, will travel
Yet a soul to unravel
Get Uma Thurman; she’ll straighten this out
Not Rated, 80 Minutes Director: Shin’ya Tsukamoto
Writer: Shin’ya Tsukamoto
Genre: Samurai Night Fever
Person most likely to enjoy this film: Ronin
Person least likely to enjoy the film: Sword ‘n’ Sandals fan-dals
